Tuesday, September 26, 2006

break my mid-sem break

the past 3 months have been truly a challenge. there has never been another period in my life when i can be happy one day and then depressingly sad the next. sometimes i show it, but often i try to hide it. i do thank God for friends who can look from afar and sense something amiss in me.

but that's not the point. over the weekend, i was wondering. this is not the way life should be. i can't live from day to day, happy one day sad the next.. and be sad more often than joyful. i've been letting people and things affect me more than i want them to be. my mood has become dependent on things, when it should actually be resting on God.

and i guess i felt it a lot in the weekend. that week, it seemed that quite a few friends were going through problems and i felt extra burdened for them, didn't have the best of weeks with my parents, i was very tempted to throttle one of my tuition girls, i was a bit at wits end for the state of arts vcf, plus personal issues were resurfacing again. i slept a lot on saturday too..never felt so defeated before..

which struck me then. if i have Christ with me, why am i not living a victorious life. why is everything dependent on the circumstances, which change all the time. instead of the one God, who never changes?

so there, that's me in retrospection again.

the good thing about this week's term break is that i'm surprisingly quite free... other than wed, being the only day i'm packed from morn to night, the rest of the days, i have nothing planned!! which means, i can lunch with whoever's free, and meet friends on the spur of the moment. so cool can. i mean, it's cool to be free and not be bogged down by obligations and appointments.. makes everything sound so professional and business like. *shakes head* be happy for me.. hahaha


maicie said...

ooohh i love what cover-to-cover says:
"have you ever considered why it is that God allows us to go through bad days as well as good ones? because we can learn things through adversity that we would never learn through prosperity."

there. u learnt something. :D

woolly-headed lamb said...

haha ade, of course i'm happy that you've got a well-deserved rest :) but well, today i attended a seminar on the life and writings of Henri Nouwen... apparently, he touched many pple's lives by being himself in his writings, and according to the video, he was a very "broken, suffering self"... so, suffering and being emotional can actually be used by God :) only thing is of course, to keep asking Him what He requires of us. so keep on fighting the good fight ade! :) *huggles*

purplecross said...

GRACE!!! you went for a seminar on Henri Nouwen!! he's one of my favourite writers!!

thanks for your encouragement. you are right.. in fact, i'm learning how to share when i am "suffering". heh.

debs said...

and you can sure share with me too! :) *squirgy hugs* if everything in life was smooth sailing, it'd be damn boring right? so there! ups and downs on the road to give us motion sickness and to see different views of the horizon each time! zippydoodah!
*squirgy hugs again*

euns said...

hey dear..

haha i know what u mean...been struggling with keeping my eyes fixed on Him too and walking on when all else ard me seems or feels like its dragging me down. but hey...at least we get to walk on together! :)

thanks for the reminder to be dependent on the Unchanging One rather than our everchanging circumstances tt always threaten to overwhelm.

zhen said...

hey sis =) noe this comment comes a bit late..but hope ya realli haf a gd gd rest during the mid sem break and tt may ya cont'd to depend on His grace =) hope to see ya sn...next FT i shld be coming dwn.

Anonymous said...

eh how you find my blog?! haha. so sneaky! and i just gave florence the add like awhile ago. boo. anyway i had a good day cos i was blessed by vcf (:

you can link me, now that er, its exposed. hurhur.


emily said...

is your tagboard missing my dear?
i absolutely hate it when these things happen! and i want to change my blogskin! *rants*

purplecross said...

er.. yes. my tagboard is obviously not there because it became annoying. got spammed by strangers.

who are you?

emily said...

paiseh. that was me ade. who else would complain about tagboard trouble? (: and yes u're right. chatterbox is good. btw, i didn't even know my tagboard was by chatterbox. now i know what cbox stands for. HA. emily-ish --> loser-ish.

hang in there today *hugs*

maicie said...

ur layout problem finally is solved!