Saturday, April 29, 2006

notice for the beach

i should be studying. argh. i actually had a lot of thoughts this morning and afternoon, and finally when i sit down and face this, i dunno what to type.

oh well. another time.

oh, this is a notice: who wants to go sentosa (though some would prefer east coast park) for a time of bumming at the beach. no beach volley, no frolicking in the sea, no frisbee.. actually can. just that i intend to just have a time of relaxation & reflection after this crazy AY. yup.

company's always nice. no?

leave a comment if you are keen. we'll prolly meet at 5 May 2006, friday, 11am harbourfront mrt station controls :)

and my love lang is....

now i know...
by the way, wen, looks like i was so wrong.. words of affirmation are quite low...

The Five Love Languages
My primary love language is probably
Acts of Service
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.


Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Monday, April 24, 2006

come home

for times of existentialism...
and bewildered weariness...
and lonely achings...

2 Timothy 2:9, 10 in the New Living Translation version hit me like a rock on friday night:
"It is God who saved us and chose us to live a holy life. He did this not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan long before the world began--to show his love and kindness to us through Christ Jesus. And now he has made all of this plain to us by the coming of Christ Jesus, our Savior, who broke the power of death and showed us the way to everlasting life through the Good News."

got this song off gracet's blog. makes me think of home...

softly and tenderly Jesus is calling
calling for you and for me
see on the portals He's waiting and watching
watching for you and for me

come home, come home
ye who are weary come home
earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling
calling O sinner come home...

ah. sigh.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

someone to watch over me

ah. Katherine Mcphee sang this song this week on American Idol. i thought Someone To Watch Over Me is such a beautiful song, and it was even more beautiful, because katherine sang it:)

Someone to watch over me
There's a saying old, says that love is blind
Still w're often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind

Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet
He's the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret

I'd like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There's a somebody I'm longin' to see
I hope that he, turns out to be
Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could, always be good
To one who'll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

oh, ace young is out. like finally...

speaking of songs, same birthday and i were just talking about stuff and the conversation kinda evolved into this:

weiying// everyone's acting strangely.. & so am i says:
i was singing in the showers: He's able, He's able, I know He's able, I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
` rong en - Be a Barnabee/ says:
i've been singing diff variations of songs with the word BE STILL
weiying// everyone's acting strangely.. & so am i says:
hahaha.
` rong en - Be a Barnabee/ says:
they were to counter "i dont wanna grow up, im a toys r us kid" and "que sara sara" songs playing in my head
weiying// says:
wahahahahaa
` rong en says:
i had to remind myself from hebs 5:5 that i HAD To grow up
weiying// says:
hahahhaha!!!!!!
` rong en says:
yeah
weiying// says:
i keep thinking how to dress up as snoopy. hahaha
` rong en says:
*raises eyebrow*
` rong en says:
sometimes, i feel like oscar the grouch, others, i feel like cookie monster
weiying// says:
hahaha'
weiying// says:
sometimes i feel like the green monster in the rubbish bin (what's that called?) when i eat too much
` rong en says:
oscar the grouch lah

we were trying to destress after a very stressful week of school. and we both agreed, this was the weirdest week of school. ever. it wasn't just the school work. for me, certain issues i was intending to deal with after the exams, took on different forms (macham like ghost liddat) and because it got too much to bear, i had to let it out. which i did yesterday (thanks jL). plus people have been telling me things which i don't want to hear, or rather, i don't want to hear because now is not the time lah. and everyday, there is some new development in arts comm. really. every. day. and the reason why the past few weeks i was so busy meeting people, was because i hoped to free myself up (and others) to just concentrate on exams. but, oh well. they come and they go.

the one thing i ask is really to be still and know that God IS God. just like Psalm 131 says to "quieten down oneself like a weaned child with his mother", i must also quieten down myself before God. especially in decision-making. to make sure that whatever is decided is not of me, but of God.

yup, oh well.. no point blogging so much.. spending time with God is more important. so nitey.

ohoh.. argh. pray for me. i had a major diarrhea( i swear this word is spelt wrong. but i'm going to be lazy) just now in school.. but unfortunately, the stomach still ain't totally cleared... it's a mix of constipation and diarrhea.. the worst case of stomach aches. argh argh=X

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

thank God for blessings.

when the going gets tough, count your blessings..

was quite agitated with today's minimal amount of studying. and the stress of not being able to retain stuff in the brain. and a whole lot of other nonsense... and it shows when i start to talk incoherently.. then again, i talk incoherently all the time. left for home much earlier than usual to rest, since i was starting to see nothing but blurs of dots.

on the way home, i remembered that the exams start on friday, and half of my cg had not emailed their exam timetables.. so i spent the mrt ride, smsing them. and by the time i reached woodlands, i got quite a few replies.. which, really warmed my heart and brought a smile to my face. been really struggling the past few weeks trying to reach out to some of the members, and it was good to see that they kinda reciprocrated by asking how they could pray for me. of course pessimists can jolly say that it's the only polite thing to do, but, i choose to see that God is working and that though the journey may be loooooong, it ain't that long=D

and then, when i stepped out of the mrt station, it started to drizzle. it was the kind of mao mao yu that reminded me of the last trip to hk, where the drizzle was so fine, it was akin to walking in a mist. but, because this is singapore (ha!) the fine mist turned into droplets, then drops of rain and eventually, a shower. by the time i reached my block, it started to pour. just nice:) have not walked in the rain for a loooooooooong time. though this ain't the best time to do so, with exams in less than 2 days, i think, just enjoy it lah.

the third wonderful thing was that i came home to see muffins!! on the dining table. my favourite choc-banana and carrot muffins. very got for constipated times like this. but, those were not all, my mom baked oatmeal raisin cookies too.. =D i so feel like buying the bossini cookie monster shirt. mom has been so busy lately, she hasn't been baking on the spur of the moment, so, these definitely made me happy, esp after eating snacks for dinner.

i checked my email to receive the wonderful news that wen booked rooms at ymca for our hk trip already! so exciting *grinz*plus a nice reply from her too. the poor girl has a fever now though=X better pray for her that she wouldn't,in her lack of (muscle) strength, drop any patients..

the ultimate had to be mark's email, though. after 'complaining' on behalf of debs yesterday to him, that he always wrote short emails, he replied today with a much much longer email of nonsensical questions, which i think debs and i can take our time to reply. heh. oh boy. miss him much. though, he's another one with mood swings.. would miss debs & matt to when they go for exchange next sem. but ah. cheryl & mark would be back=D

speaking of which, things in arts comm are starting to fall quite nicely into place.. though i still hope that more vcfers would have the conviction and stand up to serve, i've been learning that it's all really in God's time. to simply commit to God and see how He is the one who does the work. now, 6 out of 7 cgs have cgls! Praise God! (though co-cgls is always less taxing). but, today, as i counted, i realised that out of the 6 confirmed cgls, 4 of them are guys. which also means, 2 are girls. and this is not inclusive of the others still (hopefully) praying.. when delia and ryan prayed for more guys this year (05/06), i don't think any of us expected such an answer. which, should be good, rite? but, being a human (female), i must say, it's going to be a challenge..

oh well. we'll let tomorrow worry for itself. i'm off to bathe and then sleep. and (hopefully) i'll be up in time to watch the NUS Rat Race. Don't miss it! 8 a.m @ Central Library. if i could, i would include a clip here on my blog, but, i don't think i want a sudden increase in readership.... would like to keep this little enclave as close as possible;)

good nite:)

p/s 7 blessings in half an hour. try to top that!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

exambreak

heya. exams start this friday and end about 2 weeks later.

pray for me. exams have never been my forte. have my more than fair share of inadequacies regarding results, CAPs, bell curves, honours, stress..

as much as i want God to be glorified in all that i do, studies is one major area that i struggle. though i hardly talk much about it.

so pray for:

1. perserverance.
as much as i'm on my way to freedom in less than 3 weeks, to end later than a lot of people is going to be :(plus, i'm quite tired. not burnt out. but tired. spent the past 2 days sleeping.. AND i woke up this morning with flu-like symptoms. red, itchy, watery eyes AND nose.

2. i'll continue to be a blessing to others.
i'm not the only one going through this, er... to put it mildly, exams. there are more than 25,000 other nus students going through this too.. but, i'm blessed, because i've hope in Christ. pray that even in this stressful times, i would be a blessing to others.

3. enjoy studying.
need i say more? i am sadistic, i rather do projects and essays than to study=X i score better for them anyway...argh.

so, when you see this, pray for me. esp those who like my company so much, you would want me to spend an extra year in nus for honours with you=D haha. ok,that was thick-skinned.

ok, now onto hibernation for a few weeks in some corner of the library...

Friday, April 14, 2006

Good friday rain

it is yet another rainy Good Friday. it is as if, the heavens are mourning in commemoration Jesus' death on the cross.

hmm. the past few Good Fridays were wet ones for me.

All for love the Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heavens cried
For love was crucified

sunset moonrise

today's cg gathering was ultra cool.

the walk to west coast took about half an hour. we sat on the grass at the field. and adrian was late (talking to someone as usual lah). but then, while we were all waiting for him, we were just chatting and stuff. when adrian finally arrived, he walked slowly taking pictures of the sky, and only then we turned to see a truly beautiful sunset.

i read a few days ago somewhere that we should admire the works of nature, not for their beauty, but because of The Maker.

what was more amazing was that, we all got to see a moon-rise. ultra cool. we were all staring at this light blur behind an apartment block, and bit by bit, we would see the moon inch out more.

i can only say that God is truly amazing. He has created such beautiful works of art, to tell of His glory. at the same time, He gives us a chance to appreciate them.

which reminds me of a song. i'm going to introduce a new song!! since, it appears that How Great Is Our God (sing with me) has been so firmly imprinted in people's minds^ ^ there's another song that sings of God's great love:)

Sing of Your great love

All that is within me Lord
Will bless Your Holy name
I live my life to worship You alone
You brought me out of darkness
And into Your glorious light
Forever I will sing of Your great love
Forever I will sing of Your great love

I love to see You glorified
To see You lifted high
I yearn to see all nations bow their knees
It's You alone Lord Jesus
Who can cause the coldest heart
To find Your love and everlasting peace
To find Your love and everlasting peace

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord
Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord

Your trumpet will sound
And all heavens will know
That the time has finally come
For the bride to take Her place
And we'll hear the angels sing


it's my prayer that each one of us would truly yearn to see people, nations bow their knees before such a beautiful and wonderful God.

today's sharing was good. especially to see how each one of us have grown in God^ ^ and it's my prayer that each one of us would allow ourselves to be used by God to bring the gospel to people to find God's love and everlasting peace. the people who would one day bow their knees before God's throne in heaven to sing of God's great love;)

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

thank God for FT

thanks to darlie, the tagboard has been fixed;) so tag and be merry!

anyway, i'm really glad i went for FT today. not because of the aftermath, but because of the message. once again God spoke and encouraged. especially today. i really needed encouragement and reaffirment from God.

when i agreed to serve in arts comm, i was really excited especially when it became clear to me the whole purpose of campus ministry. and to have God reaffirming that it was by seeking Him through prayer, that people would be reached.

however, as the weeks wore on, and as i talked to more people, and as i realised that my term as cgl was ending, and as i started to put more pressure on myself, and as i felt that there was starting to have some form of pressure from people... i could feel my enthusiasm waning. on top of that, to start to actually see the state of vcf and the vcfers and nus, i got really burdened. burdened because, i felt helpeless, that i didn't know what to do. also to see how man can be at times..

especially after monday's supposed final arts comm meeting and stuff about cg, plus the stress of that crazy engine gem which i had s/u-ed yet gotten a brit scholar whose grades are counted plus the toll of meeting people.... it really got to me. that when i meet JL to pray in the morning, i told her i didn't want to talk anymore. it culminated when i met E & Lz... that there was this huge burden on me.

but, i'm glad i went for FT. even though time and time again i encourage (although it ends up as nagging to majority) my cg members to go for it, which makes me have to rethink of how to pass on conviction to the people.. once again God spoke. but this time, it was a strange mix of comfort and conviction.

comfort because God's work never stops nor fails.

conviction because all of God's work is to reach and save the lost.

and there's a huge huge huge harvest field here in nus. every time dr Patrick Fung brought up a new point like when he talked about crossing cultural barriers and international students, i would smile and start poking JL. heh. it's really amazing how God works.

and it's my prayer that each one of us who went for today's FT would, as Barnabas had, be sensitive to God's prompting and the needs of the people around them.

and for each one of those who didn't get a chance to hear, it's my prayer that you would also learn likewise.


anyway, on other happy notes:
i thank God once again for friends to brave crazy temperatures in lt 29, which i found out after talking to Em from medicine, that her med mates initially found the lt to be warm. so, they called the nus people to lower the temperature. and the nus people probably got so irritated, they brought it down so low, i( and many many others) was shivering from the inside, that when i (finally!) got the chance to nominate CMS, i was not talking sense.. couldn't even articulate which faculty i was from. ha.

and the abundant donations of food.. it's good to be broke, but yeah, thanks D&M^ ^

and the wonderful sms from wen that she booked the air tickets to HK today!!!!!!!

and a nice grade for el2111 presentation. the presentation that got me rather confused... because i wanted to go one way and S another... heh

oh, and i almost forgot, a nicely wrapped piece of banana chocolate cake from a tutorial mate:) that's another story to tell for another time.

;)

do not touch that tagboard

please do NOT tag on that tagboard.

oh no...i replied some tags on what i thought was my tagboard only to see myself transported to anyi's tagboard.

what was even more hilarious was to see that maicie say i was "good" at html.. *faints*

my reputation at html is definitely down the drain (what rep??hmm...)

so, anyi, if you are reading this, i kinda copied your html for your blog because you had friendly filters for apple computers... and actually, i don't know what went wrong.. i think your tagboard html and mine got a bit mixed up. and i seriously don't know what to do about it. so, ya. give me a few days when i'm a bit freer and hopefully, i would have cleared it by then, if not, deleted that tagboard of mine.. so, it explains why eunice and maicie appeared on yours.. they are my friends:) i am so so sorry....

shucks. so paiseh.

so the prob was my darn apple *BUMPY* ibook. i swear i need a new latop. this is already 5 years old....... argh.

or, you could just say i need to know how to read html, which i don't.. darlie who usually does my blogskins is busy with jc.

so, er.. if you need to say hi here,use my comments instead.

i feel like a klutz=X

Thursday, April 06, 2006

accountability

recently, i've been learning that accountability is really important.

your friend and buddy is not just there to pray for you.. often, when we use the word "accountable", what does it actually mean?
in the past few weeks, i've grown to realise the significance behind that overused word.

accountablility is:

1. being open to your leaders.

to be honest, i used to think that my church and school life were very separate. been struggling a lot in both areas recently, and especially in the area of church. and i thought i was alone in this struggle.. but after countless of complaining sessions and after M pointed out that leaders should have a degree of understanding of whatever each of us go through, i did a burden verbaige on F two sundays ago... which subsequently led to another verbaige on S the following saturday. and i must say, it was really a form of release for me. i was really surprised by how both F& S were so understanding, they let me talk and they offered good advice and most importantly, they prayed for me.

2. telling your friend to keep watch for you.

sometimes,handphones can really be annoying..today, i checked my hp after ltp, and read an sms which made me really disappointed with the person... and esp after how i almost ate another person up with my irritation last monday... when i came home, i msn-ed Ms and told her that i had to tell her something, and i really wanted her to pray for me. and it was really necessary, because, i was obviously annoyed and disappointed.. but,if i had let that seed of annoyance and disappointment grow. oh boy. i don't even want to know what the outcome is. after i told her, she helped to clarify some stuff.. and both of us agreed that we should just leave it into the hands of God. by telling Ms, i was getting her to ensure that i wouldn't bitch about that person and have unreasonable thoughts. and more importantly, pray with me for it. ( so, Ms,when you read this.. remember:pray!!)

[ok, here we stop for a lil commercial break. because, as i was typing, this humongous bug flew into my room.. humongous because it landed on my back. without looking, i swiped it away with my hand. it flew to the wall with a thud. and i turned to look, only to see a COCKCROACH!!! of course it felt huge, it was a freaking cockcroach. i stared at it, half in amazement because a cockcroach just flew into my room?! the other half of me was utterly disgusted, because it was a cockcroach, worse, one that could fly. as i watched that thing trot along my wall, a growing fear welled up inside of me. next thing i knew, it flew, and i gave a short yelp and grabbed my towel to shield me. and of course, curiosity got the better of me and i had to peer over that clean towel just in time, to have that thing fly towards me. i quickly crouched, and allowed it to fly to my curtain. but alas! it was not going to fly out. and,i was seriously freaked out. it was 1.35am.. i decided that i couldn't and didn't have the guts to fight it alone, so, i quickly ran out and woke my dad up. and he came. and to cut an already long story shorter, he eventually killed that awful cockcroach by squeezing it in his hands=X (think twice before you shake his hands next time!!). but, ya, he washed his hands with a lot of soap;) now,my room reeks of insecticide...and i think i should sleep in the guest room tonight..]

anyway, what was my point in recounting the midnight tale of the flying cockcroach? well, yeah, it would serve as a really funny story.. but it also shows the importance of accountability..because when you need help, HOLLER. you can never fight a cockcroach alone=D

3. getting your friend to pray with and for you.
as much as i have a tendency to talk a lot.. i actually keep a lot of things to myself.. sometimes i think i keep too many things inside of me, which isn't really wrong. it's just that, there are certain things that need accountability. that if i'm seeking God for an answer and also because of the nature of the issue, it's better to do it with a friend. ok, er, i recognise that i can't exactly state the nature of it, because it's private. but yeah... anyway, after keeping a particular issue to myself for more than 6 months, and after getting a cue today, after knowing that a friend has been keeping himself accountable to his cgl, I decided i better let W know too.. because, i think the burden was getting a lil too heavy for one person to bear. what's amazing is that, after i told her what it was, she sensed that i wasn't ready to give her a full story, so she told me to wait til i was ready. and i really thank God for that. because, i had been holding back for a long time from telling anyone as i was worried that the matter might be blown out of proportion.. and i guess that's why i keep stuff to myself and try to settle it with God.

anyway, there are quite a few other instances that God has been using friends to bless me. if i thank you individually, you know:)

so, if you've been encountering an issue, and you know that it's not best to hold it inside you, let it out, and get a friend to pray for you, ok? which actually, is the most important thing. accountability is firstly letting someone know. but more importantly, being prayed for and with:)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

modes and moods

hong kong...

i really can't wait for that. absolutely looking foward to it. and it's the time of the semester that i would tend to go into escapist mode. often.

actually, considering how tired i started off this semester, new into youth min at church, new cg in school and all. i can only give thanks to God for sustaining me, not barely though. it's been overflowing. (hmmm.. i think it's time to change blog picture.)

i was really worried because, i didn't want to suffer a burn out, which would not just incapacitate me from serving effectively, but it would also mean that i would not exactly be able to handle my studies..

although now and then i wished i had learnt certain lessons sooner... i think it's good i learnt them eventually. i can be darn slow and stubborn. been talking to different people, especially since we are nearing the Academic Year.. and once in a while, someone would say that he/she regrets something.

i definitely regret certain stuff. but, i've grown to realise that when we disobey by not doing what God wants, yes, it does mean that we in a way, blocked something greater from happening. but that doesn't mean that God has been restrained by our inability and disobedience. God is much greater than that. Knowing that He has allowed us to go our own ways, shows that He really wants us to be a part of His salvation plan. as much as God wants to seek and save the lost, He also wants each of us to grow to be more Christ-like as we do His will. as much as i realise that it's important to reach others for Christ, i've grown to realise that God is still concerned for me too... He doesn't go about thinking, "ok, since adeline is a christian now, let's move on to the next target". instead, God will use me to touch someone else's life. and by using me, He is actually concerned that eventually, i wouldn't be left out in this race.

as always, it's always one thing to realise, and another to live it out. i guess that's the next step for me. but, it's definitely not easy.. i'm bound to laspse, once in a while, especially when i lose focus, to go into my different modes and moods...

like how now, as much as i would like to be in hk now, to see that lone wishing tree, to eat smooth chee cheong fun, to go shoppping.. to do all these with the 2 friends i'm going with... at the moment, i'm still in singapore with 3 and a half proj/assignments due. so, i jolly well snap out of it and do what i'm entrusted with..

and, if i sound on the depressive side. it's just that i blog more when i'm in a introspective mood... if i get too hyper, i would be dancing about... ok, that sounds weird. ^ ^