May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you.

Some would know that this semester has been the hardest semester of school in my life. It beats year 1 sem 1. Perhaps it's because of the 2 level 4000 modules I am taking, on top of the fact that this is the first semester that I'm taking 4 English modules. I've been rather maxed out by schoolwork that I seriously don't think I want to go through year 4. Then again, realistically speaking, I don't think I would even qualify.

Yes, I am thankful I'm in NUS. A chance to study in one of the top 25 universities of the world (though some may beg to differ) is really granted by the grace of God. And, although schoolwork stresses me out to the max, I do enjoy what I am learning. I think my thinking has been sharpened and my writing polished. (with stress on 'I think')

And yes, I do enjoy vcf tons. I can say that my cf friends are the closest friends I have ever had. I would be a very aimless adeline without them all.. Shan't even attempt to mention names, because they are too many. From my batch who entered the thursday cgs together as freshies, to people I've served together in various committees, to people from cross faculties, to chance meetings, to wise and caring seniors, to bubbly juniors... the list goes on. Nothing beats serving, praying, questioning the same God.

Gosh. I sound like I am writing my farewell speech.

But in the midst of all the I-want-school-to-end-now thoughts, God has been doing a very special work. It's rather ironic that in the semester that I am the weakest, He is doing the most breakthroughs. It is these breakthroughs that always push my back in focus of my purpose in NUS.

It started off small, with my Jap friend A. We started off lunch small talk with me chattering about Jap food and fashion (yes, I couldn't think of anything better to talk about.), she not saying much. As the semester progressed, she started opening up more and talking a whole lot more, to the point that there were times I wanted to get back to an assignment, but seeing how open she was, I decided to just enjoy the company.

The last Fellowship Teaching saw a student from last year's batch of Chinese SM3 scholars, giving a testimony of how he found God through the camp and later the English Speaking Corner. Hearing that he was baptised last month, and how he wanted to join this year's SM3 orientation camp to help out, both flo and I agreed that all the crazy planning and hiccups we went through last year was worth every frenzy, prayer and sleepless night. It warmed my heart to see how it truly is in God's time that fruit is borne.

As if that was not enough, I bumped into one of my Chinese friends from my ESC group, last month. He actually offered to help out at this year's SM3 orientation camp and was disappointed on finding out that he wouldn't be in S'pore then. But, he quickly offered to join my ESC group next year. And on top of that, said he wanted to join a vcf cg. I was rather blown away.

What made me extremely excited was Jig's call last friday, to tell me that M, a fellow E-lang major on exchange from Canada, expressed interest in accepting Christ. The co-labouring with Jig and prayers were actually bearing fruit. It's not that I don't believe that God answers prayers. It's just that I never thought I'd get to harvest them.

It was really amusing on wed to have lunch with 3 non-christian friends. And as I always do, I gave thanks to God for my food and asked God for a good time with them, before proceeding to tuck into my meal.

I was stunned when my friend J looked at me queerly and asked,

J: Why do you pray so fast?
Me: *eyes open very big* Huh? What do you mean by 'pray so fast'?
J: How come you never pray outloud?
Me: I.. er... you want me to pray outloud??
(I turned and faced all three. Each had this look of expectance on his/her face.)
Me: er. ok, er.. I'd say grace for all of us, ya?

And so I gave thanks for the food.

Ok, so maybe you are wondering why I am typing all this. You see, out of that lunch, I found out that the two guys were sitting for their English qualifying exam on friday(yesterday). One of them, David, was dead certain he was going to fail. I told him, that the more he said he was going to fail, he would. So I told him to tell himself, "I can do it! I WILL pass! My English is good!" each time he felt like he was going to fail. And promised to pray for him.

I just checked my gmail to see this:

Hi Adeline,

First, thank you for your praying!!! I will pass it,...but next sem a tougher one will come to me. I don't know how many exams you have, but anyway all the best for all your exams. Although I don't know how to pray for you, I can help you: if you don't know how to answer questions in the exam, do sms me, I will definately reply immediately,hahahaha,trust me!

I'm going home on Dec 6th. Of cause I'll be back. But just want to know whether you have msn or blog or other online contacts so that i can get in touch with when I'm at home. My msn is... and by the way, if you are free, you may want to pay a visit to my "infant" blog, and of cause you can comment whatever you want there; no matter positive or negative comments, feel free to give. hehe,i won't be angry with you,...because your name is also there.

Finally, again best wishes for your exams, and also Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance (coz i'm afraid to forget to wish you after I leave Singapore)

Regards,

David

aka Zong Liang

So, to David, this entry is for you. I mentioned your name too;)

And to the rest of my readers, I am not boasting to show all the brownie points I think I am chalking up in heaven. If everything has been going smoothly for me this semester, I would be inclined to think that all these breakthroughs are a result of my effort. But it's precisely because school has never been such a struggle that it is so clear that this is all God's work. Just as in 2 Corinthians 12:9,

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

For us who are in the midst of exams, and to everyone else be it at work, school or play, let's remember our purpose:

Psalm 67

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm. A song.

May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine upon us,
Selah

that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.

May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples justly
and guide the nations of the earth.
Selah

May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.

Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us.

God will bless us,
and all the ends of the earth will fear him.

change

ms will know by now how much I dislike it when I'm told I've to change groups... it has happened one too many times, that each time I hear I've been moved out of a group to another (usually not as fun), I cringe. seriously. and it affects my mood after that.

thankfully, the latest one was an ok one. got moved from one fun group to another. ok, an added incentive to look forward to this year's youth camp. I really hope this year will be a change from the previous two. I really miss being able to sleep late and chatting with friends and the random youth and playing taiwanese heartattack and playing midnight soccer in the mud and laughing at miso soup and challenging youths to love God and hugging youths and singing christmas carols while prancing around.

I guess as much as I say I embrace change, I do like familiarity, especially that of people. crikey.. I'm getting all sentimental now.

Of doaps and Doulos

The past week seems to have passed by really slowly. A lot of stuff have happened. Which, honestly, is quite a lot to handle in a week. But, I'm still alive. Just a little tired.

I've had an overdose of Doulos this week, in the good sense. A team came down on tues for FT (fellowship teaching) and I was struck by the testimony of L who happens to be a PK (pastor's kid) too.. just that he's a SOAP (son of a pastor) and I'm a DOAP (daugther of a pastor). I think I can safely say I was never too problematic as a pk.. but L was really the stereotypical rebellious pk. What's amazing is how he found his identity in God and not in men. and, it doesn't hurt to say that he's cute with floppy hair. hahah. oh wellz.

God really spoke to me on thursday, when another team from Doulos came down to cg. The first was through the presentation of the world. Let's say, everyone in the world (all 6.5 billion) was to be represented by only 10 people:

3 are Christians: 2 nominal + 1 really christian Christian
2 are Muslims
2 are Hindus
1 is a Buddhist
1 is an atheist
1 is a tribal animist

and, for every 10 Christians in the world, only 1 would end up in missions and another would be actively reaching out back home.

1+1=2. only 2 Christians are effectively living out the Great Commission.

That really hit me.

The second thing that struck me was this G's testimony. I really like her. She's really beautiful (not pretty). She reminds me of Catherine Zeta Jones, has such a wacky personality, has such a fire for God.

She grew up in a Christian home and lived a sheltered life. She joined Campus Crusade in uni and was really on fire for God. But it was only her mid-twenties that she was struck by the price Jesus paid for her. And that meant living her life only for Jesus. She decided she wanted to be serious for God. That also meant serving God together with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend, however, wasn't keen on living all out for God. So, she made the painful decision of breaking up with her boyfriend of 10 years.

Don't know if I could ever make a decision like that.. then again, I don't have a boyfriend to begin with, let alone one of 10 years. so, heh. I don't have to make a decision like that after all!! Her testimony spoke because she was willing to give up someone she loved for God. And since I don't have that someone to begin with, I shall not harp for such things.

I am happy for her though, she's 33 this year, and when she goes home next year, she'd be getting married. Her new boyfriend was willing to wait 2 years for her as she went round the world doing God's work on Doulos. cool huh.

Eventhough my dream to get married by 25 seriously looks bleak, I was very edified by G's testimony. She was willing to give someone she loved, put things on hold for God. And God has blessed her ever so richly.

So, I guess waiting does have benefits. Ok, I'd wait =D

(sidenote to S: this is really waiting. press on!!)

humans

human beings are such sinful and complicated creatures. I really do not know why God would choose us to serve Him. I guess, He really chooses the foolish things of this world to shame the wise.

argh. humans. I used to say adults. but, now that I'm an adult. bah. It would be good to be a child all over again.

break me

A friend shared something with me on Sunday, which at that time, didn't really sink in. I guess it was meant for today.

She shared that God really spoke to her through the story of the five loaves and two fishes from Elisabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity:

One morning I was reading the story of Jesus' feeding of the five thousand. The disciples could find only five loaves of bread and two fishes. "Let me have them," said Jesus. He asked for all. He took them, said the blessing, and broke them before He gave them out. I remembered what a chapel speaker, Ruth Stull from Peru, had said: "If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad."

As a song goes,

As bread that is broken, use our lives
As wine that is poured out, a willing sacrifice.
Empower us Father to share the love of Christ
As bread that is broken, Lord, use our lives.

If I live my life the way I want it, it feeds only one.

But, if my life is broken, and I allow Jesus to have it, it can feed a multitude.

impatience

This is the origami ball that Andrew made for me. So pretty rite? Heh. It was in exchange to keep moi mouth shut from annoying him. You see, he came back from Brunei with nothing for me. Which is fine. Just that you don't get your sister nothing, while you get others something-.-

Yesterday was a good Sunday. God spoke to me 3 times on impatience. First through QT, then through Tabby, and lastly through the Bible Study that Sulwyn led.

There is no running away from it. No.

Ask and do not doubt

Since I am on the topic of God answering prayers.. I am in the midst of learning what this verse means:

But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord.

~ James 1:6,7

Something tells me I am going to be learning this for quite a while.

Then you will know that I am the LORD.

I met Clement (black) for lunch today.

He was sharing with me that he thinks that this semester, the cgs in arts have been mostly going their own ways. which is fine, because that means they are building themselves up.
But, they need to move beyond that. Next semester, each cg needs to do more as a body of Arts VCF.

When he said this, a slow smile spread across my face.

As you would have read in my previous post, I was mulling over the state of things in Arts VCF. In fact, just yesterday night, I was, in a way, feeling impatient and uncertain of this semester and what can be done next. (weiying will be my judge. ha)

She reminded me of what I shared with her from the Ezekiel 12:21-28, a month ago, when I told her to hold on to the vision that God gave her at last year's Anntic.

The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, what is this proverb you have in the land of Israel: 'The days go by and every vision comes to nothing'? Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am going to put an end to this proverb, and they will no longer quote it in Israel.' Say to them, 'The days are near when every vision will be fulfilled. For there will be no more false visions or flattering divinations among the people of Israel. But I the LORD will speak what I will, and it shall be fulfilled without delay. For in your days, you rebellious house, I will fulfill whatever I say, declares the Sovereign LORD.' "

The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, the house of Israel is saying, 'The vision he sees is for many years from now, and he prophesies about the distant future.'

"Therefore say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: None of my words will be delayed any longer; whatever I say will be fulfilled, declares the Sovereign LORD.' "

Granted, the context of this passage is that the prophecies and visions that God said would be fulfilled, were of disaster and famine.. not exactly things anyone would want to be fulfilled..

But, at that time I read it, I could sense God saying, None of my words will be delayed any longer; whatever I say will be fulfilled. The visions that some comm members have seen in June and July will not be delayed any longer. They will be fulfilled.

And in a sense, when I met Clement today, I felt God gently rebuking me. Asking me why have I been doubting what He promised, that they will not come true?Why did I not believe that God loves NUS and IS going to do something.

For it says in Ezekiel 12:20, that all that God allows to happen, both good and bad, only Then you will know that I am the LORD.

Amen. To God be the glory.

A spiritual revival.

"America needs a shaking, spiritually.

I don't think that a change of leadership in any place or whether it be politically or any other way, I don't think a new programme or another approach to evangelism is going to change our nation.

I need we need a spiritual revival starting with me. I need a revival in my life and so do you."
~ Larry Stockstill

This was Sunday's sermon at New Life Church, in response to Pastor Haggard's sin. These lines jumped out at me because I've been thinking recently about artsvcf as the semester nears its end (shoosh). Was wondering what could be done better... and was reminded that it's ultimately God who would have to do the shaking. Not that we have done enough. I don't think we have, honestly.

It's only up to God. But the only thing we can do is to pray and ask God to intervene. Something which I'm still rather perplexed. I can't judge and say whether we've been praying enough. You can't gauge prayer. You can't see people's hearts. Only God can.

I could definitely do with a revival in my life. How about yours?

p/s click here to go New Life Church's website to hear the sermon.

wash me clean as snow

It breaks my heart utterly to read of another Christian in the spotlight for the wrong reason.

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

It's impossible to live a perfect life. I should know.

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

Anyone should know actually. How is one to live a life without any sin?

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Although we humans have that hypocritical tendency to grade our sins, yet in God's eyes, a sin is a sin. If you cannot reach his standard of perfection, you are a sinner.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

You may think I'm being simplistic and naive. But tis' not true? I can only pray that God will turn this ugly thing into something beautiful.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

It can get rather ugly when a Christian leader commits a sexual sin. Somehow, embezzling funds does not sound as sinful as a gay tryst coupled with drug abuse.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Throw in politics with this week's American elections and you have a worldwide sensational news-story.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

And you recall how King David had an affair with Bathsheeba, the wife of a loyal soldier, Uriah. Afraid that his sin would be found out, King David had Uriah 'murdered' by sending him to the frontline to fight.

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

And yet, God called David a "man after His own heart".

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me

I do not know how God will turn this into something beautiful. But, I do know that this pastor is probably sleeping more peacefully at night these days, despite all the media hype.

Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

I also know that God has forgiven him just as He has forgiven each one of us. God loves you and will never leave you nor forsake you.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

The burden of a hidden sin now lifted, brings joy to one, when it comes to light. More importantly, joy that can only come from God.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

And God will make this beautiful. As difficult as it may seem, he is using this to turn people back to Him. To let them know He loves them, and only He can heal them.

Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight you;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.

~ Psalm 51

Evangelical confesses to 'sexual immorality'

One gaze only.

Our hands were firmly cemented
By a fast balm which thence did spring;
Our eye-beams twisted, and did thread
Our eyes upon one double string.

So to engraft our hands, as yet
Was all the means to make us one;
And pictures in our eyes to get
Was all our propagation.

As 'twixt two equal armies Fate
Suspends uncertain victory,
Our souls—which to advance their state
Were gone out—hung 'twixt her and me.

And whilst our souls negotiate there,
We like sepulchral statues lay;
All day the same our postures were,
And we said nothing, all the day.

-- from The Ecstasy by John Donne.

One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

-- Psalm 27: 4 by King David.


Psalm 27: 13, 14 says,
"I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD."