Monday, February 28, 2005

got peace?

got peace?

ade ` the garden city is browning into a hay city` says:

peace. it's so impt

Jingwen says:

it is.

Jingwen says:

when you do something wrong,

Jingwen says:

no peace

Jingwen says:

when you don't know what to do

Jingwen says:

no peace

Jingwen says:

when you feel guilty

Jingwen says:

no peace

Jingwen says:

when you are angry

Jingwen says:

no peace

Jingwen says:

when you are sad

Jingwen says:

no peace

Jingwen says:

when you are anxious,

Jingwen says:

no peace

i've realised that u won't have peace unless you do God's will. if you go against Him or be disobedient, you'l feel very frustrated.

a good eg would be this whole issue of my changing church/ministry. i didn't want to leave cos i knew i would miss the youths, some who are more like friends than little mentees(: i knew that i'l miss my friends.. cos, God really answered my prayer when i asked for Christian friends in church who would help me in my walk with God.. heh. He didn't just give me one, He gave me so many more!!(there're like 8or 9 others around my age) i knew that i will miss being comfortable in a church and knowing everyone, and just being myself..

but, when i finally let go, and told God that if it was His will for me to move to the new church, He must give me peace with the decision and help me look foward to going.

so, i'm really thankful now, cos i have the peace about this whole issue. i would definitely miss you all, but, please pray for me that i will have peace when i am at woodlands efc, ok?

Sunday, February 20, 2005

does anyone know how to upload the pics in my hp??

Saturday, February 19, 2005

hot weather

the heat is simply unbearable. didn't go for ywav today cos i'm really down with the cold. and the muscles were/are aching. and i feared that they would melt like jelly that comes into direct contact with the scorching sun. ok. fine. i exaggerate. the unfunny thing is that although i have the cold, i don't feel cold. -.-

hot weather makes me write stupid and irritated things.. -.-

let's write about something more pleasant. like V-Day:)
v-day this year was one of the most happening v-days.. heh. why? let me tell u, cos, i saw david yeo in the arts canteen!! ^ ^ he is STILL TALL & CUTE. the downside? i saw him with the same girl he was with the other time i spotted him at ps, which means, she's probably he's girlfriend and there goes one very eligible guy who's taken.

(i think some eyes are rolling now)

so, anyway, the next day, i had esc (English Speaking Corner) with the prcs.. i realise that these chinese scholars really know what they want in life. esp with the recent debate in the news about the competition singaporeans face with 30,000 chinese students in singapore, from primary school to varsity. i couldn't help but feel for them, the prcs, that is. i do get the whole notion of how infuriating it is to compete with these foreign students. in scgs, there were these few vietnamese scholars who swept almost all the bookprizes, from physics to literature. and then, last sem, i saw how the chinese really could jack up the bell curve of grades for my french class.. they were really smart/hardworking.

now now, before anyone starts misquoting me that i am anti-foreign talent, let me clarify.

to be in direct contact with 14 china scholars now, i've a better picture and understanding. these 14 prcs, 8 are your average "joe"s and 6 average "jane"s, came to singapore with barely passable english. trust me, i had to speak my really broken chinese to communicate with them. now, it's been almost 2 months since they've gone through intensive english classes at nus. and i now understand why china chinese do so well in school.

their english is still not on par with mine, but, they are really humble. they are willing to let me correct their english for them. teachability. because their english is not good, they make up for it by mugging hard. that's why they do so well in school. to make up for their not-as-good english. another reason why they study so hard is also to make it big. sucess is really important to them. they don't take it for granted. well, that's my theory.

one major thing i've realised is that chinese like any other people need God. back to what i said in the beginning, that these chinese really know what they want in life.

or, do they?

i just hope that they will grow to realise even if they attain love, career, family. they will never be satsified unless they know God. Matthew 16:26 says:

"What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?"

this is the theme verse for Falling.Spinning, a vcf musical that's coming up in the Easter week. for more info, go to Falling.Spinning

anyway, just to go back to v-day. my prcs asked me what i did for v-day at the end of the esc session. they had such mischievous grins on their faces and their eyes held that expectant look. when i told them that my v-day was boring, spent with vcf@swordfighters, their attention strayed and they started to pack up and not listen to what i was saying.. grrh. what was that supposed to mean?? that if i didnt have a date with a hot guy or ANY guy for that matter, it wasn't worth listening to me?!

oh well. c'est la vie.
je n'ai pas de ami. -.-
(french for " i do not have any boyfriends.)Lol. damn. my french is good.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

gettin sick

i'm in school now.. this is like the first time in ages since i've blogged in school.. which means that i've been very productive(i hope) n not wasting time online..(i.e. hibernating in the lib)

mid term break is next week. a measely four pathetic days. and adeline thinks she is falling sick. she went to bed last night very tired and with a horrible sore throat :( plus the nose has decided to be block..i can just taste the phelgm. i think i've run into the problem of too many activities, too much homework, too many people and not enough time for rest.. trust me, 5 and a half hours of sleep a day is simply not enough.

BUT, i'm not looking foward to next week.. too many assignments, too many readings to catch up on(but compare to last term, slightly better), too many people to catch up with, too many things to do, too many activities again.. and just 4 days. ugh.

and, above all, not enough time spent with God. by the time i come home eveyrday, i'm so tired, i just zone out infront of the tv. i'm just short of falling into bed without bathing. plus, may i add, the weather is so so hot the past 2 months, that i think i get a taste of what hell is. i simply cannot take heat. i need the cold. ugh.

so much for complaints. i'm coming down with the cold, so pardon me.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

it's chinese new year.. but, i'm positive that watever weight i lost durin the dec hols from runnin around, is all back...ugh.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Your grace is sufficient for me
Your strength is made perfect when I am weak
All that I cling to, I lay at Your feet
Your grace is sufficient for me

Is it not tough to let go of things in life??

i do. it's never easy..but, i thank God..i'm actually excited about moving on. just now when i asked my dad if he thinks i could come back for e-training.. he gave the expected answer: no.

but, what was surprising was that i actually agreed with him. and i could actually 'feel' that i had to move on. oh well. an answered prayer.

sometimes i wonder if i get things easy from God. why is it that my prayers get answered??(ok, fine.. maybe not all) i was talking to this guy in school this week. he used to go to church. and, two of his close family members passed away last year. he just couldn't comprehend how God could remain silent in such a time as that. eventually, he gave up on God. for His silence.

i really wanted to share the gospel with my friend at that time..but, i had this strong urge that it was not the right time. and i've been thinkin recently.. why was God silent?i don't even know what my friend went through. what i fear most is that how am i to tell him that God loves him so much, yet He let his family members die without knowin Christ. i just do not know.

and now, i am getting a little worried.. wat if God decideds to leave me in silence for a while?? to let me know how it feels??? can i handle it? can i come out of it stronger. can it not happen this half of this year?? can i come out of it with greater trust in God?

as i ramble, i realise a few things...

1. it's ok if i can't comprehend what my friend has gone through. i can never taste any struggles that any friend undergoes. i can't . God can.

That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin.So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.

2. i need a firm foundation in Christ. one so strong, that no matter what happens, i will not crumble. it's ok to waver a little..but, ultimately, always remember that if life is unbearable when God is silent, how much more so, if i take God out of my life completely.

Lord i give You my heart, i give You my soul, i live for You alone
every breath that i take, every moment i'm awake
LORD, have your way in me.

that's my prayer.. that God will have His way in me. do pray for my friend. and for me if i ever get the chance to talk to him again(: