Friday, February 24, 2006

rebellion ain't for the millions.


that's how one feels when one rebels.

you would actually think you gain liberty from rebellion. well, at least that's what i thought. rebel. refuse to compromise, refuse to open up, refuse to socialise, refuse to humble oneself.

instead, thinking that i am right, selfless..

and i think, that's one reason why i've been feeling the bleagh way for the past few weeks. unhappy? in a way... and i've learnt, the hard way, that by refusing to budge, i only become unhappier. absolutely dumb of me to think i was/am making any statement by rebelling.


lest you think that i'm suddenly going to bounce my way on the " road to happiness" ..

nope. i won't bounce.

and, for now, it doesn't look like happiness to me. it's going to be tough. to humble myself. if i had a choice, i'd rather go sleep.. but, escapism isn't the way to joy.

picture this:
a wobbly baby, drooling... walking unsteadily, with eyebrows furrowed. But, please notice, there's her daddy holding on to her hand, walking alongside her, encouraging her, taking pride and joy with each baby step she shakily takes..

that's me and God -- my Dad and King;)

Friday, February 17, 2006

reply tags

this is for being lazy to tag, i tell you..

just me: oh. ha, will def donate blood.. as long as i get the drip-bag type. and as for your cam, bcos i couldn't borrow it on mon, a group member brought hers on wed, and we used hers in the end.. but, the presentation was good. i wasn't a bag of nerves.. thank goodness:)

swei: corrinne may is so good. you HAVE to buy her 3rd album which comes out@the end of the year:) there's this new song "beautiful seed". it's so beautiful=D checked out nordljus. gah. how do ppl bake such pretty, yet inedible food??

debs: so, fine.. u don't laugh. you just... ha. my fault anyway for being late for class =X

hannah: i def knew it was v-day. there was no way avoiding it in school. just ask your bro;)
how was your v-day@home=D

ming: of course it looks different, i changed the pic:) and, mon's def on. reply my sms leh...

why i blog

it's been hard to blog recently. not that nothing's been going on recently.

if you notice, i've been blogging more in the gripe-sense. it's been hard for me to express certain things, realising that my readership has become somewhat... vast?

[disclaimer: i'm not saying i'm some mega-popular blogger now].

my tag-board is testament. i've got vcfers (from cg to randoms), church friends (both previous and present), school friends, youths.. all who cover the age-span of 12-25++

that's where censorship comes into play.. certain struggles are ok for people my age. but, for the younger ones, it may cause them to stumble..

certain things i want some people to read, but because they are struggles, and a lil personal, it's not what i want some people i don't know well at all, to read.

then, there's always the issue of my overt Christian principles, which i recognise, may be a tad too in-your-face. then again, this is my blog, so i have every right to write what i want. if you are uncomfortable, shoo.

with so many issues to be taken into consideration, i decided to just put a halt for a while..

but, it defeats my main purpose of blogging. which is to show how, above all the struggles and ongoings in moi vive (my life), God is love. that He loves not only me, but every one else too.

yes. YOU.

so, in the past few months or so, while i've been blogging about nonsensical general babble, i've been forced to talk to friends. which, on hindsight, is a good thing. because, last year, one worry i had was that i had lost the skill to communicate well with people, face-to-face. and now, i think, that skill is coming back. and, if anything, it has deepened some friendships. and also, opened up a few more. for these, i'm grateful:)

but, i figured, i would still blog. ha. so, will probably throw caution into the wind, and worry later...

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

nus fee hike

opened my nus email to see this:
[Student Circular] Undergraduate Tuition Fees and Financial Assistance - AY2006/2007

my first thought: oh crap, they are raising the school fees again?!
[raised to a whopping $6110 to be exact.]

secondly: i really need a scholarship.God please bless me with good-enough grades=X

thirdly: what hand did NUSSU have to play in this?

Nus says, "The University administration has met with the NUS Students' Union (NUSSU) to inform them about the new tuition fees and to explain the rationale for the increase.

NUSSU says, "Despite our vigorous objection to the fee increase for AY2006/2007, remembering that the last fee increase was in AY2005/2006, the University Administration still deems such a measure necessary in order to keep up with cost increases. NUSSU is also disappointed that despite requests to be more involved in discussions for school policies affecting the students, there is no consultation before this fee hike is announced to the Union."

fourthly: where's all my parents' money going to?

"The University is committed to provide a quality education for all our students while ensuring affordability. Over the last few years, despite active measures taken to keep costs down, NUS' costs associated with teaching and related activities have been steadily rising. "

more like: i'm paying more for more aesthetically-pleasing-white-ginormas-elephants, like the latest University Hall (which is only good as a bright & spacious walkway to Lt32) built to commemorate " a century of offering excellence in tertiary education".

if you know me, i'm usually not very politically vocal(typical Singaporean apathetic subservience..) and i'd probably just blog this, gripe about this with my friends, inform my parents while feel darn guilty that my grades aren't good enough to sell my soul to mr moe, pray so hard that andrew does more than well enough to get a scholarship for uni, worry about abel's uni fees later, actually think that it might not be such a bad idea to graduate next year after all...

Monday, February 13, 2006


sometimes, i can do the dumbest thing on earth, which makes me want to kick myself.

i blame it on the tiredness.

been feeling quite sleepy in the past weekend and today too. and since it's definitely not the time of the month, i don't quite know why i am so tired. stayed back in the library and struggled to make head and tail of the historical variation tutorial. struggled because i just felt so tired. eventually, i succumbed to the snoozing bug, only to want to throw my file at the 3 guys across me who were making so much noise.

oh well, let's save blogging for another day. i can't be late for my hist lect... debs& matt would laugh at me again like how daniel& matt did today. not that it matters, cos thomas dubios is too interesting to be missed...

oh, pray for me. tired=X i'm looking foward to mid-sem break, but with mixed feelings...

corrinne may & amazing race

just came back from corrinne may's concert: Strings and Serenade.
and i've a few thoughts:

1. she sings well, so sleek and griping.
2. she writes well, simple yet prodding.
3. she plays the piano AND guitar!!

conclusion: damn, i want to sing in a band too, with my very own 4-man band and 8-man strings.


on another note, i came home, read the newspapers, and was so excited to see that there would be an Asian The Amazing Race! Singapore Idol is so passe. Amazing Race is the thing.

alas, i have no driver's licensce.

shortlived glee-.-