Saturday, June 04, 2005

lpc-- failure n evangelism

just came back from lpc(leadership planning camp) for vcf. and i am proud to say that i FINALLY sorted out my thoughts with evangelism.

ok, you see, i had this problem. last year's national day street e, was the last day i led someone to Christ. subsequent street es seemed hopeless. yes, i know that God's word never returns empty. and that it's not me the people are rejecting, but God Himself. BUT, i as the street es & ojts progressed, i couldn't help but feel despondent. it's one thing to know the theory, another to apply it.

to be honest, i must admit that i did judge myself on the number of people i could lead to Christ. it's not to show that i'm a good "evangelist". it's more due to the perception that, if my spiritual gift is evangelism, then why was i "stagnating"?? why was i not bearing any "fruits". when i went for ojts n street e, it was like nothing much happened. which was not true, of course, on hindsight.

through the course of the past year, i did feel a greater burden for the youths i shared the gospel with. i just couldn't comprehend why anyone, on hearing The Good News, would say he/she wants to believe. but when he comes to the commitment part, and i explain the cost of following Christ, which is to let God take control, many come to a halt and make a u-turn, preferring to just believe with the head, which was something that i cautioned against. i thought i was damn zai lah.. for "scaring" people away. this burden has been making me pray for the youths in Singapore, and my own friends. that God will create a desire in them to want to know Him.

in lpc, i learnt and recognised that i was basing my worth with God on the successes i had in evangelism. when no-one wanted to believe in God out on the streets, i thought i was a failure in God's eyes, and let it get to me. and as wen said, i cannot let these thoughts affect me, because, if i get so affected to the extent of not seeing the point for evangelism, satan has "won" the battle. bell was also right to say that i was pushing myself too hard. therefore, i must not give up. and press on doing God's work.

what is most important is to rejoice in the simple and basic fact that i am REDEEMED by God. that MY name is written in the Book of Life. and that is more than sufficient for my to be joyful. furthermore, God loves me not because of who i am, but because of who He is,

because God is love^ ^

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