Saturday, March 25, 2006

friends and God

i think i think too much. oh well.

i usually get quite scared when life's too good, and i'm given too many blessings. i know some may think what is wrong with me.. God give, just take lah?! right...

when i was 14or 15,can't really remember exactly when.. we had a new year's lunch at uncle roger's home. uncle roger and family invited this whole bunch of their friends from church(gefc), friends they've been with for years.. and they were having a sharing session with the whole gin gang of family members. they were thanking God for the stuff that had happened in the past year.

i remember how aunty G thanked God for blessing her with aunty L for being such agood friend, to the extent that once, when G had a bad quarrel with her husband, she called L when L was having a holiday with her family. and L was patient enough to hear her out, despite the fact that she was away on holiday... and there were other similar stories..thanking God for family members, friends, etc...

i remember on the way home, i told my mom that it was really cool to have such friendships. however, my mom pointed out that throughout that entire sharing session, no one was really praising and thanking God for being God. yes, they said " i thank God for friend A...." or " i am thankful to God for friend B...".

but no one said " i thank God for being being there for me.."

all those thanks had centred on the gift, and not the giver.

well, almost, save for one. uncle John and his wife had thanked God for being their pillar of strength and comfort that year, as he had cancer. and with a near-death experience, he realised that only God is truly grace and worthy of praise. they had thank God for being Him.

often i read people's blogs, and hear people share that they are grateful to God for their friends/ cg/ bf or gf/ cg leader or any other leader for that matter / *insert some person*, for being there and providing the support when they really needed it.

and often i wonder, in the midst of it all, where is God?

yes, it is good to have a friend/s who is/are there when you need her/him. and lest you think i'm some loner bugger with no friends (hence this entry), please don't get the wrong idea. i do have friends, many in fact.. some who are really people i know i can count on for prayer and accountability. friends who have been there to cheer me up, friends who have been there to point me back to God. in fact, i think that's what friends are for... to point you back to God.

but then, there are times when these friends are there, that when there's trouble, instead of turning to God first, i turn to them. and that's when it gets scary. it's like my dad getting me that ipod i've wanted for ages. but instead of thanking my dad,i go, "thank you ipod! you are there to bring music into my life(literally). you are the one who gives me a beat to live to! you are the one who saves me from the annoying clutches of the evil tv mobile!"

ok, so maybe i sound like i am exaggerating. like a hyperbole gone all wrong. but i think, i do that at times.

i think the turning point of my life came when i was in sec1, back from the land of 50 stars (and states). i came back to scgs, where i was eager to reunite with my sweet valley high-like gang of friends. and boy, was i wrong. for those last 3 months, i went through pure teenage hell of backstabbing. girls bitched about me having a fake american accent, being proud for having lived in the states.. they even spread these rumours to girls from other classes... and everyday, i went home to cry. but, my parents prodded me to bring everything to God. and i have definitely not regretted that decision.

it's been 8 years since i decided to depend on God only. as much as i hope i am depending on Him only, and no one else, there are times, when i forget God, and focus on His gifts instead. that's why i thank God for trials, because, they remind me that God is there. that i don't need to run anywhere else, except to Him.

and i think, by fully understanding that it is only God who provides, that i can truly appreciate His gifts. and not be afraid of accepting His blessings.

so, there. thank you, my friend;)

and thank you God, for being here.

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