Saturday, April 30, 2005

here's a song i found.. but i've not yet listened cos i dont know where to get it). i've heard homegrown talent corinne may before though.. never knew she was a she? plus, this song pretty much describes the life i live..

corrinne may: journey
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

sigh. i'm in the midst of exams now.. one last paper on tue.. and wat can i say.. i have this sinking sickening fear that i'm going to do way worse than last sem.. sometimes, i wonder whether going to nus has brought down my self-esteem.. it's not that i think i'm a failure(ok..fine, i do at times..) but, i just dont feel confident about my studies here in uni at all... and it doesnt help that the people around me, the majority have much better CAPS than me.. that when they say they can't do well for a particular module, the worst grade they get is like my best..i feel pressured to do well.. bcos i want to give my parents something to be proud of(its my last shot at good grades here in uni), bring God some glory through my studies, just to get good grades to be proud of for once.

but, the one thing i'm holding on to, is the fact that since God brought me to nus, barely, he must have a reason for placing me here, by His grace. and, for that, i'm grateful. and i believe, though many at tiems i would falter, that He will bring me through these 3/4 years in nus.

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