just came back from lpc(leadership planning camp) for vcf. and i am proud to say that i FINALLY sorted out my thoughts with evangelism.
ok, you see, i had this problem. last year's national day street e, was the last day i led someone to Christ. subsequent street es seemed hopeless. yes, i know that God's word never returns empty. and that it's not me the people are rejecting, but God Himself. BUT, i as the street es & ojts progressed, i couldn't help but feel despondent. it's one thing to know the theory, another to apply it.
to be honest, i must admit that i did judge myself on the number of people i could lead to Christ. it's not to show that i'm a good "evangelist". it's more due to the perception that, if my spiritual gift is evangelism, then why was i "stagnating"?? why was i not bearing any "fruits". when i went for ojts n street e, it was like nothing much happened. which was not true, of course, on hindsight.
through the course of the past year, i did feel a greater burden for the youths i shared the gospel with. i just couldn't comprehend why anyone, on hearing The Good News, would say he/she wants to believe. but when he comes to the commitment part, and i explain the cost of following Christ, which is to let God take control, many come to a halt and make a u-turn, preferring to just believe with the head, which was something that i cautioned against. i thought i was damn zai lah.. for "scaring" people away. this burden has been making me pray for the youths in Singapore, and my own friends. that God will create a desire in them to want to know Him.
in lpc, i learnt and recognised that i was basing my worth with God on the successes i had in evangelism. when no-one wanted to believe in God out on the streets, i thought i was a failure in God's eyes, and let it get to me. and as wen said, i cannot let these thoughts affect me, because, if i get so affected to the extent of not seeing the point for evangelism, satan has "won" the battle. bell was also right to say that i was pushing myself too hard. therefore, i must not give up. and press on doing God's work.
what is most important is to rejoice in the simple and basic fact that i am REDEEMED by God. that MY name is written in the Book of Life. and that is more than sufficient for my to be joyful. furthermore, God loves me not because of who i am, but because of who He is,
because God is love^ ^
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
esc
i started temp work at the Evangel Student Care Centre today..and heh. i quite like it. the kids are rather adorable.. the boys are precocious.. a little too precocious too handle at times.. the girls are just so so sweet.. first day@work.. heh. let me finish this month, and it may be another story. but, i doubt it :)
i was hoping/expecting to be down at the youth centre and not the primary kids side. but, working with kids may be a good change.. i must say, i'm really proud to say that i shared the gospel with 4 kids today (^-^). and, i'm really happy bcos, i think i almost led 2 of the girls to Christ. why almost? because, i don't know how to lead them in the commitment part.. i only know youth ee, so, when i shared with them, my brain had to multi task.. one of the boys, was screaming(and i really mean screaming.. hollering..) half of the time. but the other 3 kids were really listening.. just that at the end, when i came to the faith part, both boys ran away to watch spongebob sqaurepants. oh well, i think that may be for the better.
kk, back to the multitasking.. i had a hollering kid running around the room, at the same time, as i tried trying to make youth ee more kids ee..had to run the gospel presentation through my head to figure out which parts were more relevant for kids, and at the same time, share the actual gospel presentation. it was really by God's grace that i managed to pull through..
and i was so excited, that when i came home, i asked my dad n abel how kids ee is different from the youth version.. now, i'm better equipped.. i dont think i'll panic so much when i share the gospel with the kids next time. they are such a joy. their eyes are just fixated on you, and you know for sure that they are listening to you, genuinely..not out of politeness. which brings to mind the 4 girls that emily(wefc)& bell met on the streets on thur. it is quite sad that such a wonderful gift as eternal life, can bring about such harsh words.. as emily said herself, it brought daggers to her heart as she read one of the girl's blog.
no wonder Jesus said "let the little children come". to have childlike faith, is just something i wish i still have now.. i don't know if i have. mind you, childlike faith is not blind faith. because children are so simple and innocent(not necessarily naive), they recognise truth when they see it. not like adults(of my age.. older or even younger..)
as we grow older, our lives become more "complicated", we get more tied up in unnecessary "activities". although, we would like to think that we are more "matured", personally, i still prefer simplicity and innocence. to just trust in God for everything, without having to rationalise and worry. and this is a truth i've been reading about in the Chronicles of Narnia.
oh man. i can yak for ages about Narnia.. have you WATCHED the trailer for The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. heh. i haven't, but i heard it was good. i simply can't wait for the movie to come out on 22nd December... anyway, publicity, aside. let me share with you 2 important concepts about Christianity from the Narnia series.. yes, i finally decided to read all 7 books.. just that andrewfam the great lost book 3.i learnt a lot from C.S.Lewis, but, here are 2 poignant truths:
1. we did not choose God. Instead, God chose us first.
in The Silver Chair(book 4) when the girl, jill was bewildered on how, by simply calling out the name of aslan, she entered the magical kingdom of Narnia.
and, Aslan said this, " You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you."
how true. we can never call unto God, unless he has first created the desire within us.
2. to have childlike faith like lucy.
lucy, to me, is just truly so trusting in Aslan, the Lion. and that fact that she is always the first to see Him, while he remains "invisible" to the rest, speaks voulmes..
i can only say this much. i strongly ENCOURAGE you to pick up a book of the Chronicles of Narnia..start with The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe first. as for me, i love the kids i'm working with.. and i can only hope that by hanging out with kids half my age, some of that innocence and sweetness will rub off on me ^ ^
i was hoping/expecting to be down at the youth centre and not the primary kids side. but, working with kids may be a good change.. i must say, i'm really proud to say that i shared the gospel with 4 kids today (^-^). and, i'm really happy bcos, i think i almost led 2 of the girls to Christ. why almost? because, i don't know how to lead them in the commitment part.. i only know youth ee, so, when i shared with them, my brain had to multi task.. one of the boys, was screaming(and i really mean screaming.. hollering..) half of the time. but the other 3 kids were really listening.. just that at the end, when i came to the faith part, both boys ran away to watch spongebob sqaurepants. oh well, i think that may be for the better.
kk, back to the multitasking.. i had a hollering kid running around the room, at the same time, as i tried trying to make youth ee more kids ee..had to run the gospel presentation through my head to figure out which parts were more relevant for kids, and at the same time, share the actual gospel presentation. it was really by God's grace that i managed to pull through..
and i was so excited, that when i came home, i asked my dad n abel how kids ee is different from the youth version.. now, i'm better equipped.. i dont think i'll panic so much when i share the gospel with the kids next time. they are such a joy. their eyes are just fixated on you, and you know for sure that they are listening to you, genuinely..not out of politeness. which brings to mind the 4 girls that emily(wefc)& bell met on the streets on thur. it is quite sad that such a wonderful gift as eternal life, can bring about such harsh words.. as emily said herself, it brought daggers to her heart as she read one of the girl's blog.
no wonder Jesus said "let the little children come". to have childlike faith, is just something i wish i still have now.. i don't know if i have. mind you, childlike faith is not blind faith. because children are so simple and innocent(not necessarily naive), they recognise truth when they see it. not like adults(of my age.. older or even younger..)
as we grow older, our lives become more "complicated", we get more tied up in unnecessary "activities". although, we would like to think that we are more "matured", personally, i still prefer simplicity and innocence. to just trust in God for everything, without having to rationalise and worry. and this is a truth i've been reading about in the Chronicles of Narnia.
oh man. i can yak for ages about Narnia.. have you WATCHED the trailer for The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. heh. i haven't, but i heard it was good. i simply can't wait for the movie to come out on 22nd December... anyway, publicity, aside. let me share with you 2 important concepts about Christianity from the Narnia series.. yes, i finally decided to read all 7 books.. just that andrewfam the great lost book 3.i learnt a lot from C.S.Lewis, but, here are 2 poignant truths:
1. we did not choose God. Instead, God chose us first.
in The Silver Chair(book 4) when the girl, jill was bewildered on how, by simply calling out the name of aslan, she entered the magical kingdom of Narnia.
and, Aslan said this, " You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you."
how true. we can never call unto God, unless he has first created the desire within us.
2. to have childlike faith like lucy.
lucy, to me, is just truly so trusting in Aslan, the Lion. and that fact that she is always the first to see Him, while he remains "invisible" to the rest, speaks voulmes..
i can only say this much. i strongly ENCOURAGE you to pick up a book of the Chronicles of Narnia..start with The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe first. as for me, i love the kids i'm working with.. and i can only hope that by hanging out with kids half my age, some of that innocence and sweetness will rub off on me ^ ^
Sunday, May 29, 2005
GSS
damn. am i in a blogging mood or what. i simply cannot contain my excitement about the Great Singapore Sale.. although, given a choice, i would rather be in Hong Kong now, i have to make do with what i have here.. (wen, next year!! hk here we come!!!)
to curb my spending, heh, i decided i better come up with a wishlist. it's tough to keep within this limit, that i agree:
1. peasant skirt ( i just bought one today.. so, erm.. yeah. but...)
2. rattan bag ( i saw one today.. more like a few.. but, their was this ancient looking bag.. ugh, which was CRYING out to me)
3. nike pink&green sneakers
4. one or two pairs on earrings (i've fasted from buying earrings for way too long...)
5. a funky top.(when i see it, i'll know it,w hich i think, i've seen one too many.sigh)
6. another bag?! in one of those funky mama psychadelic colours??? ( yes, i know, i've too many bags)
can i formulate into words what you, my dear reader is probably thinking.. yes, i feel materialistic.. and yes, i think i'm a major shopaholic.. that's a bad bad habit/hobby to pick up from a friend(courtesy of serene foo and her one too many shopping trips...) NEVER have a shopaholic as a friend, and a wealthy one too, to add.
then again, i'm a woman(that sounds so so weird.. calling myself a woman?! i mean, it's not that i've just gone for a sex change or what, but.. i think i'm entering into the realm of age-ism... sigh) and woman are entitled to shop as much as men are to football...
it is during such a time as this, i wish that i have a rich boyfriend.. ha. but, in the mean time, i'm more than contented with my heavenly Father, who's far greater than anyone else in this world and beyond ^ ^
to curb my spending, heh, i decided i better come up with a wishlist. it's tough to keep within this limit, that i agree:
1. peasant skirt ( i just bought one today.. so, erm.. yeah. but...)
2. rattan bag ( i saw one today.. more like a few.. but, their was this ancient looking bag.. ugh, which was CRYING out to me)
3. nike pink&green sneakers
4. one or two pairs on earrings (i've fasted from buying earrings for way too long...)
5. a funky top.(when i see it, i'll know it,w hich i think, i've seen one too many.sigh)
6. another bag?! in one of those funky mama psychadelic colours??? ( yes, i know, i've too many bags)
can i formulate into words what you, my dear reader is probably thinking.. yes, i feel materialistic.. and yes, i think i'm a major shopaholic.. that's a bad bad habit/hobby to pick up from a friend(courtesy of serene foo and her one too many shopping trips...) NEVER have a shopaholic as a friend, and a wealthy one too, to add.
then again, i'm a woman(that sounds so so weird.. calling myself a woman?! i mean, it's not that i've just gone for a sex change or what, but.. i think i'm entering into the realm of age-ism... sigh) and woman are entitled to shop as much as men are to football...
it is during such a time as this, i wish that i have a rich boyfriend.. ha. but, in the mean time, i'm more than contented with my heavenly Father, who's far greater than anyone else in this world and beyond ^ ^
Saturday, May 28, 2005
unchanging
today, i met up with kwee yong & yi ting, my dear juniors from pjc.. heh. they,cute as ever.. they make me feel young^ ^
i tried to explain nus lingo to yi ting.. i.e. bidding system, modules, etc.. but i think i left her in more of a blur then anything else.. i better make good my promise to be there when she bids for her modules.. and i wonder whether i scared her off when i told her how lonely one can be in the first semester in nus.
sigh. can you imagine??? it's been more than a year.. just last year, i was a scared chicken, because, i had not gotten my admissions letter from nus YET. and one year has already passed, so quickly.. a little too quickly perhaps, to the extent that i feel as if i have not caught my breath. so much has happened, eversince i entered jc and left it, to work and then later off to uni... and i can only attest to one thing that has been constant.
God.
I AM.
people change, and i'm not spared. But, i'm thankful for God is unchanging.
Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet.
Your love is a mystery, how You gently lift me
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing.
Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing, deep inside of me
Everytime I see You, all Your goodness shines through
I can feel this God song rising up in me.
i tried to explain nus lingo to yi ting.. i.e. bidding system, modules, etc.. but i think i left her in more of a blur then anything else.. i better make good my promise to be there when she bids for her modules.. and i wonder whether i scared her off when i told her how lonely one can be in the first semester in nus.
sigh. can you imagine??? it's been more than a year.. just last year, i was a scared chicken, because, i had not gotten my admissions letter from nus YET. and one year has already passed, so quickly.. a little too quickly perhaps, to the extent that i feel as if i have not caught my breath. so much has happened, eversince i entered jc and left it, to work and then later off to uni... and i can only attest to one thing that has been constant.
God.
I AM.
people change, and i'm not spared. But, i'm thankful for God is unchanging.
Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet.
Your love is a mystery, how You gently lift me
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing.
Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing, deep inside of me
Everytime I see You, all Your goodness shines through
I can feel this God song rising up in me.
vcfers
for the picture below, i forgot to add that it was deb's birthday last week.. and the whole bunch of us vcf-ers had a surprise birthday party for her...was she shocked or what. heh.. i've never had a surprise birthday before..
anyway, another day, when i'm up to it, i shall write an entry on vcf.. and how God is leading me in nus through vcf... i'll save it for another day.
for reference, the people below, from left to right, top to bottom are:
mark, matt, andrew, kevin, ruiyi, joel & me.
jocelyn, adeline wan, deborah(her royal higness), mel, fern & angeline.
anyway, another day, when i'm up to it, i shall write an entry on vcf.. and how God is leading me in nus through vcf... i'll save it for another day.
for reference, the people below, from left to right, top to bottom are:
mark, matt, andrew, kevin, ruiyi, joel & me.
jocelyn, adeline wan, deborah(her royal higness), mel, fern & angeline.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
power n purpose
Ps shern gave a very good sermon today, or rather, yesterday.he spoke on Acts 2:1-14, talking about the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. which was timely, cos today, in another less than 8 hours, i'll be going back to qbc for the youth ee clinic. i'm excited now. im glad. i was getting worried that if i dint get my act together, i'll be... i dunno..
i can regurgitate the entire gospel to you, but, that's not good enough. i was worried that i kinda lost the fire. i've been disappointed by past mass street evangelisms.. the youths on the streets i met, they were just not interested in God, they couldn't care less, keeping God at arms length... my heart aches for them.. it always does. and i always tear for my non-christian friends. because, recently, i've been learning that it's a long journey. life is a long and ardous journey. and praying for your friends' salvations is not a one night stand. it requires daily prayer, which i confess, i don't remember everyday. i get frustrated that when i ask my friends out for vcf talks or etc, the response is always that of, "i'm too busy, another time, ok?". please dont take it that im dissing people. on top of that, when i shared Christ with my prcs, they are all so polite and scientific.. i don't know..
it's all these things that take the fire out of you at times.. you get disappointed to see that, as if, God is not working. your prayers aren't answered. but, you know that you can't give up trying. you cant give up praying for your friends, trying to break down the communication barriers with the prcs, going out to the streets to share the gospel... because if you don't play your part, who will?
so, i'm thankful for the sermon. for God speaking to me and reassuring me that He will always re-fill me with the Holy Spirit. oh.. here's a little Holy Spirit trivia for you. baptism of Holy Spirit vs filling of the Holy Spirit?? what's the diff? i finally found out.
Baptism- it's the initial experience. the Holy Spirit resides in us when we believe that Jesus died for our sins.
Filling- the ongoing experience. Just like a fire, we need regular douses of petrol to keep going.
so, here i am. re-filled with the Holy Spirit. i'm charged up and excited. i do hope that today i would be able to pass on the passion and enthusiasm i caught from the zion people, esp jialing, to other youth leaders, and they can pass it on to their church. i hope that that today would be a start for the youth grup at wefc. i hope to see God continue the good work done at qbc...
as for my friends, i shall just concentrate on bringing them one step closer to God everyday(:
But, most importantly, i want to be able to experience once again God working in me, and through me, for Him.
i can regurgitate the entire gospel to you, but, that's not good enough. i was worried that i kinda lost the fire. i've been disappointed by past mass street evangelisms.. the youths on the streets i met, they were just not interested in God, they couldn't care less, keeping God at arms length... my heart aches for them.. it always does. and i always tear for my non-christian friends. because, recently, i've been learning that it's a long journey. life is a long and ardous journey. and praying for your friends' salvations is not a one night stand. it requires daily prayer, which i confess, i don't remember everyday. i get frustrated that when i ask my friends out for vcf talks or etc, the response is always that of, "i'm too busy, another time, ok?". please dont take it that im dissing people. on top of that, when i shared Christ with my prcs, they are all so polite and scientific.. i don't know..
it's all these things that take the fire out of you at times.. you get disappointed to see that, as if, God is not working. your prayers aren't answered. but, you know that you can't give up trying. you cant give up praying for your friends, trying to break down the communication barriers with the prcs, going out to the streets to share the gospel... because if you don't play your part, who will?
so, i'm thankful for the sermon. for God speaking to me and reassuring me that He will always re-fill me with the Holy Spirit. oh.. here's a little Holy Spirit trivia for you. baptism of Holy Spirit vs filling of the Holy Spirit?? what's the diff? i finally found out.
Baptism- it's the initial experience. the Holy Spirit resides in us when we believe that Jesus died for our sins.
Filling- the ongoing experience. Just like a fire, we need regular douses of petrol to keep going.
so, here i am. re-filled with the Holy Spirit. i'm charged up and excited. i do hope that today i would be able to pass on the passion and enthusiasm i caught from the zion people, esp jialing, to other youth leaders, and they can pass it on to their church. i hope that that today would be a start for the youth grup at wefc. i hope to see God continue the good work done at qbc...
as for my friends, i shall just concentrate on bringing them one step closer to God everyday(:
But, most importantly, i want to be able to experience once again God working in me, and through me, for Him.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
kingdom of heaven
I watched Kingdom of Heaven today with wen.. and,I'm glad she said she wanted to watch it, cos I would never have gone. I seriously thought it was a sucky show that portayed christianity in a bad light ( so I heard from my friends).
It is a good movie, plenty of action(but way too much blood. explains the NC16 rating. the blood spurts were comparable to kill bill). Furthermore, Orlando Bloom is hot as ever. In LOTR he was such a pretty boy. But in Kingdom of Heaven, he oozed such manly heroism (^o^).
Frivolities aside, this movie is good, for the very simple reason that it showed how human Christians are. it was sad to see how divided the christians were. there were 2 camps of people. One, fought for God, for Christianity, or so they thought. the other, fought for fame, wealth and power. i just, sigh. i get very sad(even more than just plain old sad) whenever people, friends say that hypocritical Christians are a big issue to them. Ghandi himself said, "Find me a Christian who's not a hypocrtic, and i will believe" (something to that extent). but, people forget that Christians are human just like anyone else. we all sin and fall short of God's lory and standard. that's why we need God. That's why you can never find a non-hypocritical Christian because everyone will fall at some point of time.
i would sincerely encourage you to catch this movie, to see the helpless and the utter hopelessness of humans. and lest we Christians think to ourselves that we are much better than the Christians portayed in Kingdom of Heaven, watch out, cause you've already fallen into the trap of hypocrisy.
It is a good movie, plenty of action(but way too much blood. explains the NC16 rating. the blood spurts were comparable to kill bill). Furthermore, Orlando Bloom is hot as ever. In LOTR he was such a pretty boy. But in Kingdom of Heaven, he oozed such manly heroism (^o^).
Frivolities aside, this movie is good, for the very simple reason that it showed how human Christians are. it was sad to see how divided the christians were. there were 2 camps of people. One, fought for God, for Christianity, or so they thought. the other, fought for fame, wealth and power. i just, sigh. i get very sad(even more than just plain old sad) whenever people, friends say that hypocritical Christians are a big issue to them. Ghandi himself said, "Find me a Christian who's not a hypocrtic, and i will believe" (something to that extent). but, people forget that Christians are human just like anyone else. we all sin and fall short of God's lory and standard. that's why we need God. That's why you can never find a non-hypocritical Christian because everyone will fall at some point of time.
i would sincerely encourage you to catch this movie, to see the helpless and the utter hopelessness of humans. and lest we Christians think to ourselves that we are much better than the Christians portayed in Kingdom of Heaven, watch out, cause you've already fallen into the trap of hypocrisy.
Monday, May 16, 2005
disclaimer: to have a total stranger tagging on my board.. seems alien.(no offence fudgebumkin, it's a 1st in a long while.. yeha. i'm a lil deprived) i feel like a xiaxue(apparently, asia's best blog of the year) i'll comment abt her another day...btw, just for the record, i didn't write the poem.. ( i had better say that.. if not, wat with all this talk on how blogs are not one's private n personal space.. we bloggers are liable to libel suits.. gosh)
anyway, just to set things straight. i'm a christian. a firm one at that.. one who believes that evangelism is something every christian should do, be it friendship evangelism or street e, etc... so, the poem below, was something reina, a youth shared today@cg. it struck me to not give up praying for my friends, n doing the small things that would bring them one step closer to God.
we should all share the gospel with the non-christian friends around us. as the poem itself says, how can we be friends, if we never share with them the most precious thing in life??
anyway, just to set things straight. i'm a christian. a firm one at that.. one who believes that evangelism is something every christian should do, be it friendship evangelism or street e, etc... so, the poem below, was something reina, a youth shared today@cg. it struck me to not give up praying for my friends, n doing the small things that would bring them one step closer to God.
we should all share the gospel with the non-christian friends around us. as the poem itself says, how can we be friends, if we never share with them the most precious thing in life??
Sunday, May 15, 2005
a poem from a non-christian to her christian friend:
My friend, I stand in judgment now
And feel that you are to blame somehow
On earth I walked with you each day
And never did you show the way
You know the Lord in truth and glory
But never did you tell the story
My knowledge then was very dim
You could have led me safe to Him
Though we lived together on the earth
You never told me of the second birth
And now I stand this day condemned
Because you failed to mention Him
You taught me many things, that's true
I called you my friend and trusted you
But I learned now that it's too late
You could have saved me from this fate
We walked by day and talked by night
And yet you showed me not the light
You let me live and love and die
You know I will never live on high
Yes, I called you friend in life
And trusted you through joy and strife
And yet coming to this end
I cannot call you "my friend".
Saturday, April 30, 2005
here's a song i found.. but i've not yet listened cos i dont know where to get it). i've heard homegrown talent corinne may before though.. never knew she was a Christian..is she? plus, this song pretty much describes the life i live..
corrinne may: journey
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you
sigh. i'm in the midst of exams now.. one last paper on tue.. and wat can i say.. i have this sinking sickening fear that i'm going to do way worse than last sem.. sometimes, i wonder whether going to nus has brought down my self-esteem.. it's not that i think i'm a failure(ok..fine, i do at times..) but, i just dont feel confident about my studies here in uni at all... and it doesnt help that the people around me, the majority have much better CAPS than me.. that when they say they can't do well for a particular module, the worst grade they get is like my best..i feel pressured to do well.. bcos i want to give my parents something to be proud of(its my last shot at good grades here in uni), bring God some glory through my studies, just to get good grades to be proud of for once.
but, the one thing i'm holding on to, is the fact that since God brought me to nus, barely, he must have a reason for placing me here, by His grace. and, for that, i'm grateful. and i believe, though many at tiems i would falter, that He will bring me through these 3/4 years in nus.
corrinne may: journey
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter
I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you
sigh. i'm in the midst of exams now.. one last paper on tue.. and wat can i say.. i have this sinking sickening fear that i'm going to do way worse than last sem.. sometimes, i wonder whether going to nus has brought down my self-esteem.. it's not that i think i'm a failure(ok..fine, i do at times..) but, i just dont feel confident about my studies here in uni at all... and it doesnt help that the people around me, the majority have much better CAPS than me.. that when they say they can't do well for a particular module, the worst grade they get is like my best..i feel pressured to do well.. bcos i want to give my parents something to be proud of(its my last shot at good grades here in uni), bring God some glory through my studies, just to get good grades to be proud of for once.
but, the one thing i'm holding on to, is the fact that since God brought me to nus, barely, he must have a reason for placing me here, by His grace. and, for that, i'm grateful. and i believe, though many at tiems i would falter, that He will bring me through these 3/4 years in nus.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
oh. i forgot to add... after the sermon today, i prayed and asked God to give me direction in my lfe.. and also to help me in serving in wefc..and i prayed specifically that God will help.. it's not that im lazy or anything, but i needed a sign that God will always be with me as i serve Him in this new church..assurance.. so, i asked that after i prayed and opened my eyes, someone from the youth ministry would talk to me..
so, i opened my eyes.. and blink blink.. nothing happened.. oh well.. nvm.. i went down to the fellowship hall and got a little fazed out by the huge crowd for Ps Twee Kim's appreciation lunch.. and was starting to wonder what on earth i was going to do in this huge crowd.. and then..
i felt a tap on my shoulder.. i turned around, this girl, Aggie, a youth leader, told me that Ps Jabez (the youth pastor) assigned(can't think of a better word) me to join her cg.. oh man.. at that point, i couldn't stop smiling.. haha.. an answered prayer!! immediate! (well, almost ^ ^)
i'll be starting from scratch again.. as a youth.. so, heh.. i'm just glad God answered my prayer.. it's a new start to a new ministry!! i'm really excited.. ^ ^
so, i opened my eyes.. and blink blink.. nothing happened.. oh well.. nvm.. i went down to the fellowship hall and got a little fazed out by the huge crowd for Ps Twee Kim's appreciation lunch.. and was starting to wonder what on earth i was going to do in this huge crowd.. and then..
i felt a tap on my shoulder.. i turned around, this girl, Aggie, a youth leader, told me that Ps Jabez (the youth pastor) assigned(can't think of a better word) me to join her cg.. oh man.. at that point, i couldn't stop smiling.. haha.. an answered prayer!! immediate! (well, almost ^ ^)
i'll be starting from scratch again.. as a youth.. so, heh.. i'm just glad God answered my prayer.. it's a new start to a new ministry!! i'm really excited.. ^ ^
Stand Firm
Today, Pastor Shern gave a very good sermon.. it was a very uplifting message..
as some of you may know.. i've been stressed out by school, a new church, life in general...a lot of stuff.
i've also been struggling in my relationship with God eversince uncle louis died. His death made me question God a lot, made me question my intentions in life... a lot of questions in fact.. too many that i got scared to a certain point cos i got worried that i may start doubting God to the point that i would forsake Him.. thankfully, i think i've hit the most bottom of the pit already.. and am slowly tryin to climb back up..
today's sermon gave me a renewed confidence in God. God is real and alive. God is eternal. we should ALL be living for Eternity.
so, according to this eternity principle:
1. my studies now flagging or not is just a fleeting spot in the never-ending line of eternal life.(but that doesn't mean i should just give up on my studies, of course.. heh)
2. my feeling of fat and any sickness (and etc) is only temporal.. when Jesus returns, i will have a new and glorified body, umblemished.
3. all the stress, depression and negative feelings i ever experience on this earth will all come to naught in heaven. in heaven, there is nothing but unspeakable joy and contentment.
4. working for money, material goods is useless cos i can never bring them to heaven with me.. instead, i should work towards my eternal rewards in heaven.
1 Corinthians 15:58 says, "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work o fthe Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain."
STAND FIRM!!
to contextualise this verse:
if you've been bogged down by the stress of life, that sometimes you lose sight of God,yet you know that God is your only hope, STAND FIRM!!
if you've been praying for the salvation of your unsaved friend or parent or grandparent, and they don't seem to be responding, STAND FIRM!!
if you've been seeking direction for your life, unsure with what God wants you to do, STAND FIRM!!
if you feel that you have been disheartening God, disappointing Him, STAND FIRM!!
if you haven't been serving God as much as you know He wants, serve by faith and STAND FIRM!!
if you've been trying to be a strong testimony for God in school or work, yet you feel that you fail Him at times, STAND FIRM!!
the list goes on... just STAND FIRM!! in your walk with God, your service to God. always remember that our life here is only transient.. what matters most is eternity. so, work towards that, ok?
anyway, hope some have been encouraged by this post.. i would really encourage you to go read 1Corinthians 15. God really spoke to me and put my life in perspective...okie.. exams start this friday for me, so it's time to go back to the books(or rather stacks of notes..)
Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God!
as some of you may know.. i've been stressed out by school, a new church, life in general...a lot of stuff.
i've also been struggling in my relationship with God eversince uncle louis died. His death made me question God a lot, made me question my intentions in life... a lot of questions in fact.. too many that i got scared to a certain point cos i got worried that i may start doubting God to the point that i would forsake Him.. thankfully, i think i've hit the most bottom of the pit already.. and am slowly tryin to climb back up..
today's sermon gave me a renewed confidence in God. God is real and alive. God is eternal. we should ALL be living for Eternity.
so, according to this eternity principle:
1. my studies now flagging or not is just a fleeting spot in the never-ending line of eternal life.(but that doesn't mean i should just give up on my studies, of course.. heh)
2. my feeling of fat and any sickness (and etc) is only temporal.. when Jesus returns, i will have a new and glorified body, umblemished.
3. all the stress, depression and negative feelings i ever experience on this earth will all come to naught in heaven. in heaven, there is nothing but unspeakable joy and contentment.
4. working for money, material goods is useless cos i can never bring them to heaven with me.. instead, i should work towards my eternal rewards in heaven.
1 Corinthians 15:58 says, "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work o fthe Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain."
STAND FIRM!!
to contextualise this verse:
if you've been bogged down by the stress of life, that sometimes you lose sight of God,yet you know that God is your only hope, STAND FIRM!!
if you've been praying for the salvation of your unsaved friend or parent or grandparent, and they don't seem to be responding, STAND FIRM!!
if you've been seeking direction for your life, unsure with what God wants you to do, STAND FIRM!!
if you feel that you have been disheartening God, disappointing Him, STAND FIRM!!
if you haven't been serving God as much as you know He wants, serve by faith and STAND FIRM!!
if you've been trying to be a strong testimony for God in school or work, yet you feel that you fail Him at times, STAND FIRM!!
the list goes on... just STAND FIRM!! in your walk with God, your service to God. always remember that our life here is only transient.. what matters most is eternity. so, work towards that, ok?
anyway, hope some have been encouraged by this post.. i would really encourage you to go read 1Corinthians 15. God really spoke to me and put my life in perspective...okie.. exams start this friday for me, so it's time to go back to the books(or rather stacks of notes..)
Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
mr lonely
it's rather amusing, to be reading an email from a friend, where she mentions in passing the song, Lonely. and then, lo n behold, u hear it on the radio:
Lonely, I’m mister lonely
I have nobody to call my own
it's such a cute song..
Lonely, I’m mister lonely
I have nobody to call my own
it's such a cute song..
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Disappear
Disappear
On a day like this I want to crawl beneath a rock A million miles from the world, the noise, the commotion That never seems to stop And on a day like this I want to run away from the routine Run away from the daily grind that can suck the life Right out of me I know of only one place I can run to... Chorus: I want to hide in You The Way, the Life, the Truth So I can disappear And love is all there is to see Coming out of me And You become clear As I disappear I don't want to care about earthly things Be caught up in all the lies that trick my eyes They say it's all about me I'm so tired of it being about me... I would rather be cast away Separated from the human race If I don't bring You glory If I don't bring You glory If I don't bring You glory
Monday, April 04, 2005
a new creation
Yesterday was my dad's installation as the senior pastor in woodlands efc. It was also a day which I found socializing too much of a hassle and a chore:(
I'm not an extremely extroverted person. I can be, but only after warming up to people. It takes time. It took me one & a half semesters before my vcf friends realised I could be corny.. At 1st encounter, I have the tendency to want to keep to myself. It would help a lot if people seemed friendlier and take the first step. Then again, maybe they are...
Too many 'I's... too self-centred, too focused on my own problems. I am supposed to know what I'm doing in a new church; I'm still excited about teaching youth ee in a new church. But it's discouraging when faced with a daunting task of knowing a huge group of 90+ ppl, leaders not included. So, I simply freaked yesterday and went home straight after church cos someone was coming to view the house.
Just did my quiet time on 2 Corinthians 5:17,
'If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!'
Our Daily Journey goes on to say that "all of us have different personalities. Yours is a part of who you are, whether or not you are a believer in Jesus. But when we accept Him as Saviour, our personality should begin reflecting Him. We should become more loving, caring, and interested in others. For me, that meant not being a zombie (which comes naturally to me), but opening up and being friendly."
It was as if this entry was written for me. How true.
So, still faced with the daunting task of knowing too many people @Teenedge, I've decided to break things down a little simpler. Every Sunday, during the lunch break before Teenedge, I will "force" myself to join people, smile and say hi and talk to them. The goal is, to talk to at least ONE person properly and get to know him/her. So there, one person per week doesn't sound too scary, right? It's time to put the skills from How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie into good use.
Why am I writing all this? I need you to pray for me, I can't do it alone:)
2 Corinthians 5:16-21
16 From now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
I'm not an extremely extroverted person. I can be, but only after warming up to people. It takes time. It took me one & a half semesters before my vcf friends realised I could be corny.. At 1st encounter, I have the tendency to want to keep to myself. It would help a lot if people seemed friendlier and take the first step. Then again, maybe they are...
Too many 'I's... too self-centred, too focused on my own problems. I am supposed to know what I'm doing in a new church; I'm still excited about teaching youth ee in a new church. But it's discouraging when faced with a daunting task of knowing a huge group of 90+ ppl, leaders not included. So, I simply freaked yesterday and went home straight after church cos someone was coming to view the house.
Just did my quiet time on 2 Corinthians 5:17,
'If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!'
Our Daily Journey goes on to say that "all of us have different personalities. Yours is a part of who you are, whether or not you are a believer in Jesus. But when we accept Him as Saviour, our personality should begin reflecting Him. We should become more loving, caring, and interested in others. For me, that meant not being a zombie (which comes naturally to me), but opening up and being friendly."
It was as if this entry was written for me. How true.
So, still faced with the daunting task of knowing too many people @Teenedge, I've decided to break things down a little simpler. Every Sunday, during the lunch break before Teenedge, I will "force" myself to join people, smile and say hi and talk to them. The goal is, to talk to at least ONE person properly and get to know him/her. So there, one person per week doesn't sound too scary, right? It's time to put the skills from How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie into good use.
Why am I writing all this? I need you to pray for me, I can't do it alone:)
2 Corinthians 5:16-21
16 From now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
in Christ alone
went back to geylang efc yesterday for serice. was really ministered by this song.. i thought it put the whole of last week into perspective, for me at least.
`In Christ Alone
`In Christ Alone
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
passed
life has never seemed so short until today.
it brings home the point that life here on earth is so short. be it 20 years or 50, even 100.. when compared to ETERNITY in heaven with God. what should we be doing with our life then?
it brings home the point that life here on earth is so short. be it 20 years or 50, even 100.. when compared to ETERNITY in heaven with God. what should we be doing with our life then?
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