constipated

constipated.

that's what i'm feeling. majorly. i don't know if my sense of lethargy today has to do with my inability to get rid of the abcess. plus, i think i've eaten 7 of my mom's oatmeal choc chip cookies.. she baked them for too long, they were hard enough to stone a person to death.. argh. don't ask me why i ate them. sigh. i guess they tasted nice.. just that they were hard? and that's how i feel now. hard. constipated.

yawnz.

random thoughts

here's some very random thoughts for today:
1. my dad thinks blogging is msn-ing, another form of chatting.. AND he expressed this thought during service today (^0^)
2. the nus websiteS have gone through COUNTLESS changes. each time i check the different websites, i swear, they look like they've undergone A LOT of changes. i get the feeling of vertigo(freefall).
3. i can't make up my mind how many modules to take this sem and which mods to take.. and bidding starts tomorrow morn.. =X
4. in the past 4 weeks, i think i've eaten dinner with my family about 3 times???
5. some insurance guy managed to capture my attention for at least 45 min. i'm amazed.
6. yday's prc gathering was good. and i've still MUCH to learn from God, as always.
7. my handphone dictionary doesn't have PIMPLE & i'm going to matric fair tmr.. wo mei lian jian ren + i just realised that my shift is during the last hour of bidding.i'm so screwed.
8. there's a mozzie bite on my palm.. it hurts.
9. cg retreat was very good. there was very GOOD sharing.. and i think it's so amazing and exciting to see how God works in each of our lives + it's encouraging to know that i'm not the only one going through certain things. what's most important is that we upholded(or is it upheld??) one another in prayer. refreshing ^ ^
10.it's only 11.15pm and my dad is ALREADY bugging me to GO& SLEEP?!?!
11. tuition was surprisingly manageable. except for this qn on convection currents and the monsoon season.
12. i can't find my favourite purplecross earrings-.-

cheated

i saw a really nice denim skirt @18 bucks from bugis, today.

problem is, i bought this SAME really nice skirt @29 bucks from queensway, on tuesday.

i got cheated of not 1, not even 2, NOT EVEN 5 dollars.. but a whopping ELEVEN ?!#$%#$^*%&* that's a lot to a poor student like me-.-

english

yes.. haha. i'm an english genius, if that is any encouragment for my decision to major in English. i've realised that when i say i'm an English Major, the very common response is, " Wow, so you must be very good in English, huh?"

ermz....well.... does the test below explain everything??? haha.. my england prowress...

do not even make me go into how i think my English standard has degenerated eversince entering pjc.. i tell you, that's what a neighbourhood school does to me. and those 4 years of scgs, where we girls were all encouraged to be vocal ladies(in perfect Queen's English, mind you) just went down the longkang. now, after 1 year of nus, i'm even more conscious of how much i slang in singlish.. this blog is a testimony of all my lahs, lors, and what-have-yous-.-

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 80% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

The Commonly Confused Words Test

just live it

and i thought i finished blogging.

God speaks.

adeline, shut up.

go live it.

love?

it's very late.. but, i've a sudden spurge of bloginspiration.. haha. my latest msn nick has caused a little upheaval with some friends.. here's a sample of a typical conversation:

Izzy- says: hey
ade ` i love you, you know?/ says: hey
ade ` i love you, you know?/ says: are u aust??
Izzy- says: yups
Izzy- says: who u love ?
ade ` i love you, you know?/ says: you
Izzy- says: hah
Izzy- says: as if!
Izzy- says: who addy who?
ade ` i love you, you know?/ says: haha.. i really mean it
ade ` i love you, you know?/ says: i love YOU
Izzy- says: wha
Izzy- says: addy
Izzy- says: whoa.. addy wazzzup?
Izzy- says: hahaha
Izzy- says: wat modules u taking

yeah, isabelle got bored of our conversation and changed subject to that time of the year(choosing of modules.. another subject altogether). fine, i admit i'm being cheeky lah.. ( i tell you this is what singlehood does to me).. but, i just find it little sad that for one to feel fulfilled, one needs a partner(in my case, it's of the opposite sex). when i told justina i was very happy, and life was rather good, she went, "HAHA.. so WHO's the guy!!" i had to remind her that i don't need a guy to make me satisfied (but, may i add that that does not mean i pray that God bestows the gift of celibacy on me...).

yes, i'm getting a lil lovesick( a side effect of watching one too many hk serials, which i must add for the 2nd time that Ron Ng has such lovey dovey eyes ^ ^ they just melt my heart.. haha.i've weakness, yes, no??) coupled with the lovey dovey pictures of sond&her bf.. oh man. sometimes, yes, i do wonder, what am i "missing".. i'm in one of those moods..

but, to set the record straight, i'm not on a i-need-a-boyfriend alert.. more of a cute-hunky guy alert.haha. all for eye candy,esp when mr TALLDARK&HANDSOME-year4psych major is gone from the face of nus, i'm quite sad.. shucks, i'm deviating from the intended subject.

my point is, i love God. and by doing so, i'm supposed to love everyone else too.. although some people make things difficult by being rather unlovable.. i think i'm not ready for any serious relationship til i learn the lesson of loving the people around me.. which would include, my family, close friends, school friends, vcf mates, church mates, youths, tutorial mates, school mates, neighbours, relatives, community people, tuition kids, singaporeans, world citizens?? my list goes on..

have to show that i love them..

i love you, you know?

rest

i know it seems ludicrous(hanini's favourite word).... but, i fell sick over the weekend.(yes, school has not even started). better still, i think i overstretched myself last week. i do not even want to think about what is going to happen when the new Academic Year kicks in, and i start taking those 6 modules, co-lead a cg, be part of ifg comm, teach tuition on weekends, meet up with friends, be home enough to make my parents happy... not forgetting moving house(which, may i add, i've not even started to do any packing?!?) for once, i'm actually glad i'm not serving in church.

it's a sort of "happy" busy. this hols, if it's not another camp, it's another vcf meeting; if not, another going out to meet yet another friend. do i make myself to sound so busy? plus, i come home late almost every night, and come online to check emails and find some solace in friends who are willing to hear me whine ( you know who you are^^)

but, i must keep myself in check. it's crazy lah.. and it's just not the way things should be. yes, i've a lot of things to do, roles to play, responsibilities to fulfill.. and often, i feel so stretched that i really really wish i had 2or3 mondays, etc... but, there is a reason why God made only 7-day weeks, each day with only 24 hours... i haven't exactly learnt how to prioritise.. cos everything SEEMS so freaking important. and sometimes, i wonder what's more important. i'm learning things the hard way, in the form of my parents bugging and nagging at me. trust me, it's not pleasant music to anyone's ears... i'm still learning( have to reiterate that. learning.)

to my non-christian friends, all the things i do in vcf, church *any God-related activity*, are all catgorised under [Church] . i used to hate it(still do) whenever i meet up with my friends.. and they go, "So addy, busy with Church AGAIN??" (coloured words mine) now, i sheepishly tell them, " Er, no lah. i'm busy with cca stuff." which is, half true.. just that i choose to fail to inform them that my cca is ANOTHER christian based thingy... it's not that i'm ashamed of serving in minstry, or God... it's just.. how am i to explain that everything i do is for God??

My WHOLE life is for God. i've learnt that there is NO such thing as something more important than the other, someone more important than another.. (haha.. unless of course, you take HK hunky dories like RON NG & shopping into consideration.. yeah, they are LESS important) HOW, you tell me? HOW can i put my friends up against some youth or a cg member in comparison. HOW. i don't know. discipleship is very important. if you disciple someone well, that person can in turn, effectively discipleANDevangelise to others. but, so is evangelism. that's why my friends are so so so important to me. i cannot face the thought of everyone so dear to me, not being able to spend eternity with Him. and, to make things seemingly more complicated, what am i todo with my family?? i thought(note the past tense) that since my family is Christian, they are pretty much self-sufficient... but, my dear parents have been reminding(to put it very very nicely) me that "charity begins at home. how can you go out and serve others but don't serve your own family!!!" and if you want to know my parents' definition of serving, haha.. well, think along the lines of 'serving'.. not forgetting, "your little brother is 4 years old now.. in 3 years time, he'll be in primary one. if you all don't spend time with him, next thing you know he'll be in pri1!!!!!!!!!!!" ( do not even bring my grandparents into the picture...)

i'm not making myself out to be adeline-fam-the-great-whom-everyone-wants-a-piece-of.... eventhough that's how i feel at times(minus "the-great" part of course). i fear the term "burn out".. it's a term that suddenly seems so so real. i fear just being immobile midway during sem: the time where all essays kick in, tests are around the corner.. and best, i just don't feel like going to school... BUT, i read last week during QT in Hebrews 13, that in everthing we do, we are supposed to " bring a sacrifice of praise unto God ". i'm still learning. still trying to live out my life that is 1. a sacrifice, 2. in a manner of praise, 3. for God, the one and only.

learning.. learning.. struggling. kinda need prayer, so pray for me, ya?

courtesy

ugh. my dear people. when i sms you, for goodness' sake, please reply me lah......

and when i call you, bother to return my call.. ugh

then again, the intended people are prob not going to read this, but. common handphone courtesy for all. actually this is something we all should have learnt even in the dinosaur age of telephones.

ugh

mozilla: Spacecrocodile

inactive

i've not been blogging.. it's not that i don't know what to write.. it's just that too many things have been going on, and i dont know where to begin.. it's like information overload? i'll blog soon:)

mozilla

my mozilla ( an internet browser) is a bit weird. every page i open up, has a different name. i'm currently using Mozilla Lightningkangaroo, checking my email on Hyperbear, and opened up another 2 more, just to see what funny names they have, which are Suntortoise and Powerferret by the way...

haha. it's my first day@home in a long while, doing nothing. it feels good, so pardon me :D

prayer

today's youth worship was very good. i don't know why, but the 11o'clock service was just fantastic. the choir sang with more gusto, the band did more of their fancy tricks, emily did a good job:) i guess she was more confident after 2 services ^ ^

we were worshipping God.

i notice i made a "mistake" in yesterday's entry. when i was thinking about the choir, i was only concerned about their performance. i later realised that i had forgotten about the spiritual aspect.

one thing i have learned in vcf is that serving in a secular ministry, eg a cca in school, is very different from serving God in church/campus ministry... or any ministry for God.yes, we all want things to run perfect. but, it's important to realise that we are serving God in whatever we do, be it planning a camp, outing, vision for the year ahead. we carry out tasks in our human ways, by doing them. BUT, we must NOT neglect PRAYER. how a programme runs, is very important. but what is even more important is that we have to pray and intercede to God, asking that His will will be done. if we don't pray, but just go ahead planning and doing, we might as well do any other secular activity, not God's work.

now, let me explain the prayer part though. i used to think that prayer would be something like this: we have a meeting to discuss, let's say a camp. the meeting is 3 hours. you start off with a word of prayer, maybe a short devotion. then, you are off to discuss whatever you want to discuss. after 2 hours, it's about time to wrap up. there's a quick round of sharing. then, people break up into little groups of 3/4 to pray for one another and the event, for at most half an hour. and then, at the end of it, someone would wrap up the entire meeting with prayer.

we prayed right?? (at least i saw the word "pray" a few times.) NOPE.

i've since learnt that what i used to "pray" in the past, was such punified prayer. it wasn't exactly interceding. in retrospect, it was more of a prayer of convenience. i was like telling God, here are my prayer requests, if you want, take it and then give me my request. if you don't want, then nevermind lor.

what have i since learnt is prayer?(before i begin, please remember that my word is not THE Bible. so, it's my own personal experience and growth)

when we pray for an event or some vision, i've realised that it is important to spend time asking God what He has in mind/store. when i went for the ifg (international friendship group) comm meetings, we kinda started off on a wrong footing. the first 3 meetings, we went straight into doing a review of the past year and what we wanted for the year ahead. thankfully, our chairman realised it in time, and organized a prayer meeting.. we just sat there for an hour and a half, and just prayed. it was a very simple thing. we just prayed about whatever came to our minds, whatever issues that seemed pressing. it was, i think, the Holy Spirit's prompting.

i've grown to realise that when we take time out of our "busy" schedules to pray, God honours our prayers. to the world, prayer would seem like a useless thing , because we appear to be not doing anything. BUT, to God, it's very different. it shows that we are willing to quieten down our hearts before, to listen to what part of His plans He wants us to be a part of.

we must have it ingrained in us, that in whatever we do, we are serving God, not the world. and when we serve God, we've to come to seek His will.

looney

i swear i'm going looney these days.. i've been laughing & chuckling to myself the whole day. fine, at sporadic intervals.

big God

tomorrow, or rather today is going to be youth weekend. i hope i'm not too apprehensive about leading the section choir later at 10am.. i've never done it before.. whatever i know is from musical practice at scgs' rehearsals.. sigh. let's hope i make some headyway &sense. pray for me:) pray especially for the youth service, that God will use each one of us to bless and lead the entire church. so exciting right ^ ^ pray also that above all, God will help us to serve Him, only for Him; not for any human recognition. cos' it's all about Jesus.

anyway, next week is vcf freshmen camp.. i was not excited.. in fact rather tired. i swear i'm getting old. the thought of ANOTHER camp, just makes me wanna go and sleep. but, thankfully, my co-leader of our group HABBAT (pakistani for love), is jeremy. this guy i met when i was in p6, at angora brethen chapel, where my dad preached at their church camp. haha.. you know, the good thing about tagging along to all these camps, changing churches, going to new schools, making friends with your friends' friends: you get to make more friends. in a way it's like net-working. but, i also see it as how God has introduced so many people into my life, making it so colourful and exciting. different people impact my life in different ways. similarly, i get to, hopefully, impact the people whom i come into contact with, in whatever little or big way that God allows.. so exciting, rite^ ^

anyway, i'm glad my co-leader for foc is a familiar person..someone i find easy to talk to. so, i dont have to worry about whether i can work with him... i thank God. He answered my prayer without me even asking Him. which reminds me of Jeremiah 33:2,3. we've got to pray BIG. cos'

My God is so BIG
so STRONG and so MIGHTY
there's nothing my God cannot do
NO WAY

The mountains are His
The valleys are HIs
the stars are His handiwork too

My God is so BIG
so STRONG and so MIGHTY
there's nothing my God cannot do
For YOU^ ^

credit to nat

nice blog rite?? it's got a funky edge. by the way, All for Love is my favourite song from Hillsong United's latest album, Look to You.

credit for this latest skin must be given to Darlie Chue aka Natania the nuthead. she insists on being called my daughther.. but, let me reiterate, i'm very single.. thank you.

sick

this is an absolutely gross thing to write, but, my stomach is churning. ugh. i'm sick, down with some kind of flu that inflicts fever and diarrhea, possibly cough. down since sunday night, caught possibly from one of my brothers(abel or asher) OR one of the kids at the centre who have been sneezing at me/my arm/in my face.

plus, i think it only worsened because i've been getting only 6 hours of sleep or less for the past few weeks, eversince i started work, only to be aggravated by my staying over at the cia camp on sat with the sec4s. BUT, i had a good talk with serene& wen. (duh it was good.. i slept only an hour)AND i got to see my sec2s.. they are growing up!!

i hope i'm well enough to go back to work tomorrow and well enough to eat chicken rice balls in malacca at the church retreat.

i can only say one thing: i am growing old.. no more late nights -.-

lpc-- failure n evangelism

just came back from lpc(leadership planning camp) for vcf. and i am proud to say that i FINALLY sorted out my thoughts with evangelism.

ok, you see, i had this problem. last year's national day street e, was the last day i led someone to Christ. subsequent street es seemed hopeless. yes, i know that God's word never returns empty. and that it's not me the people are rejecting, but God Himself. BUT, i as the street es & ojts progressed, i couldn't help but feel despondent. it's one thing to know the theory, another to apply it.

to be honest, i must admit that i did judge myself on the number of people i could lead to Christ. it's not to show that i'm a good "evangelist". it's more due to the perception that, if my spiritual gift is evangelism, then why was i "stagnating"?? why was i not bearing any "fruits". when i went for ojts n street e, it was like nothing much happened. which was not true, of course, on hindsight.

through the course of the past year, i did feel a greater burden for the youths i shared the gospel with. i just couldn't comprehend why anyone, on hearing The Good News, would say he/she wants to believe. but when he comes to the commitment part, and i explain the cost of following Christ, which is to let God take control, many come to a halt and make a u-turn, preferring to just believe with the head, which was something that i cautioned against. i thought i was damn zai lah.. for "scaring" people away. this burden has been making me pray for the youths in Singapore, and my own friends. that God will create a desire in them to want to know Him.

in lpc, i learnt and recognised that i was basing my worth with God on the successes i had in evangelism. when no-one wanted to believe in God out on the streets, i thought i was a failure in God's eyes, and let it get to me. and as wen said, i cannot let these thoughts affect me, because, if i get so affected to the extent of not seeing the point for evangelism, satan has "won" the battle. bell was also right to say that i was pushing myself too hard. therefore, i must not give up. and press on doing God's work.

what is most important is to rejoice in the simple and basic fact that i am REDEEMED by God. that MY name is written in the Book of Life. and that is more than sufficient for my to be joyful. furthermore, God loves me not because of who i am, but because of who He is,

because God is love^ ^

esc

i started temp work at the Evangel Student Care Centre today..and heh. i quite like it. the kids are rather adorable.. the boys are precocious.. a little too precocious too handle at times.. the girls are just so so sweet.. first day@work.. heh. let me finish this month, and it may be another story. but, i doubt it :)

i was hoping/expecting to be down at the youth centre and not the primary kids side. but, working with kids may be a good change.. i must say, i'm really proud to say that i shared the gospel with 4 kids today (^-^). and, i'm really happy bcos, i think i almost led 2 of the girls to Christ. why almost? because, i don't know how to lead them in the commitment part.. i only know youth ee, so, when i shared with them, my brain had to multi task.. one of the boys, was screaming(and i really mean screaming.. hollering..) half of the time. but the other 3 kids were really listening.. just that at the end, when i came to the faith part, both boys ran away to watch spongebob sqaurepants. oh well, i think that may be for the better.

kk, back to the multitasking.. i had a hollering kid running around the room, at the same time, as i tried trying to make youth ee more kids ee..had to run the gospel presentation through my head to figure out which parts were more relevant for kids, and at the same time, share the actual gospel presentation. it was really by God's grace that i managed to pull through..

and i was so excited, that when i came home, i asked my dad n abel how kids ee is different from the youth version.. now, i'm better equipped.. i dont think i'll panic so much when i share the gospel with the kids next time. they are such a joy. their eyes are just fixated on you, and you know for sure that they are listening to you, genuinely..not out of politeness. which brings to mind the 4 girls that emily(wefc)& bell met on the streets on thur. it is quite sad that such a wonderful gift as eternal life, can bring about such harsh words.. as emily said herself, it brought daggers to her heart as she read one of the girl's blog.

no wonder Jesus said "let the little children come". to have childlike faith, is just something i wish i still have now.. i don't know if i have. mind you, childlike faith is not blind faith. because children are so simple and innocent(not necessarily naive), they recognise truth when they see it. not like adults(of my age.. older or even younger..)

as we grow older, our lives become more "complicated", we get more tied up in unnecessary "activities". although, we would like to think that we are more "matured", personally, i still prefer simplicity and innocence. to just trust in God for everything, without having to rationalise and worry. and this is a truth i've been reading about in the Chronicles of Narnia.

oh man. i can yak for ages about Narnia.. have you WATCHED the trailer for The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. heh. i haven't, but i heard it was good. i simply can't wait for the movie to come out on 22nd December... anyway, publicity, aside. let me share with you 2 important concepts about Christianity from the Narnia series.. yes, i finally decided to read all 7 books.. just that andrewfam the great lost book 3.i learnt a lot from C.S.Lewis, but, here are 2 poignant truths:

1. we did not choose God. Instead, God chose us first.
in The Silver Chair(book 4) when the girl, jill was bewildered on how, by simply calling out the name of aslan, she entered the magical kingdom of Narnia.
and, Aslan said this, " You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you."
how true. we can never call unto God, unless he has first created the desire within us.

2. to have childlike faith like lucy.
lucy, to me, is just truly so trusting in Aslan, the Lion. and that fact that she is always the first to see Him, while he remains "invisible" to the rest, speaks voulmes..

i can only say this much. i strongly ENCOURAGE you to pick up a book of the Chronicles of Narnia..start with The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe first. as for me, i love the kids i'm working with.. and i can only hope that by hanging out with kids half my age, some of that innocence and sweetness will rub off on me ^ ^

GSS

damn. am i in a blogging mood or what. i simply cannot contain my excitement about the Great Singapore Sale.. although, given a choice, i would rather be in Hong Kong now, i have to make do with what i have here.. (wen, next year!! hk here we come!!!)

to curb my spending, heh, i decided i better come up with a wishlist. it's tough to keep within this limit, that i agree:

1. peasant skirt ( i just bought one today.. so, erm.. yeah. but...)
2. rattan bag ( i saw one today.. more like a few.. but, their was this ancient looking bag.. ugh, which was CRYING out to me)
3. nike pink&green sneakers
4. one or two pairs on earrings (i've fasted from buying earrings for way too long...)
5. a funky top.(when i see it, i'll know it,w hich i think, i've seen one too many.sigh)
6. another bag?! in one of those funky mama psychadelic colours??? ( yes, i know, i've too many bags)

can i formulate into words what you, my dear reader is probably thinking.. yes, i feel materialistic.. and yes, i think i'm a major shopaholic.. that's a bad bad habit/hobby to pick up from a friend(courtesy of serene foo and her one too many shopping trips...) NEVER have a shopaholic as a friend, and a wealthy one too, to add.

then again, i'm a woman(that sounds so so weird.. calling myself a woman?! i mean, it's not that i've just gone for a sex change or what, but.. i think i'm entering into the realm of age-ism... sigh) and woman are entitled to shop as much as men are to football...

it is during such a time as this, i wish that i have a rich boyfriend.. ha. but, in the mean time, i'm more than contented with my heavenly Father, who's far greater than anyone else in this world and beyond ^ ^

unchanging

today, i met up with kwee yong & yi ting, my dear juniors from pjc.. heh. they,cute as ever.. they make me feel young^ ^

i tried to explain nus lingo to yi ting.. i.e. bidding system, modules, etc.. but i think i left her in more of a blur then anything else.. i better make good my promise to be there when she bids for her modules.. and i wonder whether i scared her off when i told her how lonely one can be in the first semester in nus.

sigh. can you imagine??? it's been more than a year.. just last year, i was a scared chicken, because, i had not gotten my admissions letter from nus YET. and one year has already passed, so quickly.. a little too quickly perhaps, to the extent that i feel as if i have not caught my breath. so much has happened, eversince i entered jc and left it, to work and then later off to uni... and i can only attest to one thing that has been constant.

God.

I AM.

people change, and i'm not spared. But, i'm thankful for God is unchanging.

Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.
Your love is a mountain, firm beneath my feet.
Your love is a mystery, how You gently lift me
When I am surrounded, Your love carries me.

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing.
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, Your love makes me sing.

Your love is surprising, I can feel it rising
All the joy that's growing, deep inside of me
Everytime I see You, all Your goodness shines through
I can feel this God song rising up in me.