Wednesday, April 05, 2006

modes and moods

hong kong...

i really can't wait for that. absolutely looking foward to it. and it's the time of the semester that i would tend to go into escapist mode. often.

actually, considering how tired i started off this semester, new into youth min at church, new cg in school and all. i can only give thanks to God for sustaining me, not barely though. it's been overflowing. (hmmm.. i think it's time to change blog picture.)

i was really worried because, i didn't want to suffer a burn out, which would not just incapacitate me from serving effectively, but it would also mean that i would not exactly be able to handle my studies..

although now and then i wished i had learnt certain lessons sooner... i think it's good i learnt them eventually. i can be darn slow and stubborn. been talking to different people, especially since we are nearing the Academic Year.. and once in a while, someone would say that he/she regrets something.

i definitely regret certain stuff. but, i've grown to realise that when we disobey by not doing what God wants, yes, it does mean that we in a way, blocked something greater from happening. but that doesn't mean that God has been restrained by our inability and disobedience. God is much greater than that. Knowing that He has allowed us to go our own ways, shows that He really wants us to be a part of His salvation plan. as much as God wants to seek and save the lost, He also wants each of us to grow to be more Christ-like as we do His will. as much as i realise that it's important to reach others for Christ, i've grown to realise that God is still concerned for me too... He doesn't go about thinking, "ok, since adeline is a christian now, let's move on to the next target". instead, God will use me to touch someone else's life. and by using me, He is actually concerned that eventually, i wouldn't be left out in this race.

as always, it's always one thing to realise, and another to live it out. i guess that's the next step for me. but, it's definitely not easy.. i'm bound to laspse, once in a while, especially when i lose focus, to go into my different modes and moods...

like how now, as much as i would like to be in hk now, to see that lone wishing tree, to eat smooth chee cheong fun, to go shoppping.. to do all these with the 2 friends i'm going with... at the moment, i'm still in singapore with 3 and a half proj/assignments due. so, i jolly well snap out of it and do what i'm entrusted with..

and, if i sound on the depressive side. it's just that i blog more when i'm in a introspective mood... if i get too hyper, i would be dancing about... ok, that sounds weird. ^ ^

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